


Mistaken

by gabsmatos



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Innocent Stuart "2D" Pot, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, M/M, Protective Murdoc Niccals, Roleplay, Sad Stuart "2D" Pot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-10 17:46:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15954383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabsmatos/pseuds/gabsmatos
Summary: Set in phase 5.Murdoc and 2D were in a stablished realtionship for a while now.But things got pretty bad when Murdoc got arrested.





	1. Chapter 1

After Murdoc met El Mierda in _Strobelite_ music video, some strange things started to happen to him. Until the day, he got arrested for smuggling. Murdoc yelled and swore that he was innocent but it didn’t work anyway...

That left Stuart devastated as they were dating for a while. Murdoc had promised he would change, he wasn’t drinking as much as he used to and wasn’t using anything. They were beyond a couple, best mates. Stuart felt betrayed. In the meantime, they released a new album and things weren’t going on well with the singer.

2D had missed Murdoc so bad. He would barely sleep, he would cry for the longest of times and sometime regret being with him, believing him. It was about a month in when Stuart finally decided to go visit Murdoc. He was sitting at the glass with the phone. Didn’t look so great.

Murdoc approached. He didn’t look okay either... He had tough times in jail, got beaten by the strongest man into there and his face looked terrible... He grabbed the phone and whispered a "Hey..." Trying to smile with his jaw sore. His eyes shined seeing that at least someone came after so much time.

2D looked just plain out tired. He had on one of Murdoc’s shirts, and had a bag in his hand. “Hey…” he said quietly, his voice almost breaking.

Murdoc swallowed the giant lump in his throat and his heart aching seeing his singer so vulnerable... "H-how are you doing...?" He said in the same low tone, scared of what he could hear back. Leaned closer he glass... watching every detail of his face... God, how he missed him.

 “I relapsed.” He told him, not even beating around the bush like he normally would do. “But..it was a blessing I guess.. Cuz of that I wrote an album to keep our band a float..” he said leaning on his hand, just staring at Murdoc through the glass.

"Re...lapsed?" Murdoc repeated feeling dread into his soul. "W-what do you mean by that...?" He put a hand on the glass "An album... good... I mean, Ace must be playing in my place right...?" He felt a pang in his heart knowing he was replaced already. And seeing his face, the album was a huge success.

                “I took.. Some drugs.. Something beyond my pills” he mumbled putting his hand on the glass where Murdoc’s would be. He looked almost ready to cry. “He can never replace you in my heart.” 2D gently pushed the bag under the little slot so Murdoc could take it. It was the whole CD, and the music video burnt on a disk. “I brought this for you.. So you can listen..”

                Stuart had problems with drug addiction for a while, between _Plastic Beach_ _and Spirit’s House_. He discovered it after a friend introduced it to him. He missed Murdoc and his life was a giant mess without him, Russel and Noodle. After they got together, 2D had stopped, with Murdoc’s help, but now that he felt sad and desperate, things got outta control and he started using once again. Now the bassist felt betrayed as well. He said if the singer used once again everything between they would be done…

"Thank you....I'll" he grabbed the things with shaking hands. He bowed his head. His injuries were hurting but knowing that.  Made his heart burst. "I failed with you." he whispered pressing his forehead against the glass his thick fringe in front of his eyes.

2D watched him, feeling... bad. Sad too. “You didn’t fail me. I...miss you so much Muds I can’t keep going on without you.” He said his voice cracking. “I feel so alone.” he could feel his own tears starting to stream down his face.

"I ruined you.... it's my fault you're like... that... I'm so sorry..." Murdoc closed his eyes shut. His nails digging the glass "I promised I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you... and I failed..." his voice cracked and his hand went to his head tangling his hair.

 “Murdoc look at me. You’re not alone.. I love you. I’m...here for you. I’m not going anywhere. I needed that fix, because I felt so empty… I lost everything that made me happy… Again.” he said softly. “I w-wanna get you out of h-here”.

Murdoc slowly lifted his head. He knew some of the cuts and bruises were bleeding.  "H-How ‘D...? And why...? Look at me..  I'm a mess... ugly and gross... wrecked beyond repair." He frowned. "I lost you. And it hurts so fucking much.  Everyday... I thought you wouldn't come to see me anymore... fuck I missed you, Stuart I really did...".

Time in jail had changed Murdoc in some ways. He wasn’t angry as he used to be, ‘cuz there he would get wrecked if he messed with the wrong guys. He learned how to… Behave someway, and 2D was living a really delicate situation. If he got angry again he would screw things up. And as the singer had already attempted suicide before, it was likely he would do it again without Murdoc. So he changed his feelings from rage to sadness. Being with Stuart made him weaker and softer. Murdoc was much more afraid from what Stuart could do with himself than to what he could do to him.

 “You’re not ugly.. You’re just, bleeding” 2D sounded nothing but concern. “I’m a mess. I can’t function without you, do you hear me? I don’t feel well, something’s wrong with me. I need you. I need our family back!” He started raising his voice just a little, as he was getting emotional.

Family was something both of them found in his friends. 2D’s parents didn’t react well when their only son came back after so many years to tell them he was dating the guy who run over him with his car. So they lost contact after that. Murdoc’s parents were dead, along with his brother. So they haven’t got anyone besides the other band members.

" I'm stuck here unfairly... I want to get out and fix everything I left behind... you believe me don’t you?" He stared Stuart through the glass, something inside him hurting seeing him so desperate. He knew it was all his fault. Time in jail was driving him insane. 2D was one of the only people that he let get close. "You know you don’t have to any of that..."

2D pushes his hand through his hair. “Why wouldn’t I do that? You’re innocent.” He said softly. He was getting even closer to Ace, many nights he’d hold him while he sobbed or when he was strung out from the drugs. He needed Murdoc back before he did something really stupid. “I’m going to try and get the best lawyer out there.” He sniffed.

"No one seem to believe me..." Murdoc looked directly into his eyes "Sometimes even I don’t." he sighed feeling dizzy from so much emotions and lack of blood "If you need money... I hid some of mine under our bed. There’s a hole in the wood... Take as much as you need." He didn’t want Stuart spending money he had earned with his album with something that was not even his problem.

“No. I’m going to get you out. Don’t give up, please.” He told him taking his hand off the glass. “I...I need to go..” 2D glanced down. “Can I see you again soon..?” He asked, knowing if he didn’t leave now he wasn’t going to want to leave, period. He felt so dispatched from everything.

Murdoc was already missing him "Of course you can... I will be right here... It's not like I could leave here when I wanted to." He tried to smile. "Anytime." he looked him leaving, his heart twisting in pain. "See you soon." he whispered.

 “We all care. Noodle didn’t leave her room for a week once you were arrested.” he told him with a soft sigh before standing. “I love you.” 2D looked to him for a moment. “The album… It’s about you..” he turned to walk away, not being able to stop his tears as he was leaving.

Murdoc felt incredibly lonely after that. He put the phone back into place and looked to the album on his hand... He closed his eyes and wished everything was just a nightmare. Went back to his cell and laid down the rest of the day seeing Stuart's photo on the cover of it. How he had changed through the years, how they were doing so good without him. He read the lyrics inside and getting the meanings... 2D was really talented writing songs. He could tell they must be doing a lot of shows and earning lots of money. The band didn’t need him anymore... he knew that.

 

 

2D had went home; immediately going to put something in his arm. He couldn’t help it, he didn’t wanna feel this pain. He knew he cried himself to death almost as he couldn’t even enjoy the feeling right now. He had stumbled into Ace as he was trying to go downstairs. “O-oh sorry” he mumbled not even looking at him properly

"Hey Stewie.. Where are you going that fast...? I was looking for you whole day... where have you been?" Ace held him by his shoulders making him look at him. He was helping 2D with a lot of second thoughts. Even this new nickname was something that drove Murdoc mad before he went to prison. Maybe that was the opportunity he was waiting since Murdoc was out and the singer was at his lowest. He smiled thinking about that.

 “Uh.. I went to see Muds..” he told him, it wasn’t hard to tell he was strung out. “He’s not doing good, I gave him our album.” he said in a bit of drained tone, looking to his eyes leaning into his touch.

"You want to talk about it...?" he rubbed his shoulders. "Is there anything I can do to help you?" Ace lifted his head by the chin with one finger... "Stewie... you look awful.." His voice was full of fake concern.

 “I don’t feel so good.” he said softly, looking to him, “W-will you hold me?” 2D’s voice was cracking, he had tears in his eyes. “I just want to feel loved.” he told him hushed.

Ace was afraid that his friend would use again to numb his pain so he gave him the most tight and warm hug he could. He was so addicted that he could even die but Stuart didn’t seen to notice. He didn’t listen anyone besides Murdoc. "There you go..." he tried to put all the broken pieces of 2D back into place once again. "I love you... We all do."

 “I love you too, Ace” he told him, burying himself into his hug, “I want some a-affection” he told him his words slurring. Ace noticed he wasn’t well. It would easy the thing for him.

"What kind of affection you want Stewie...?" he said in a soft tone... Just wanted him to feel well... at least less sad than he was... Ace knew the only "antidote" was Murdoc coming back. He sighed

 “I just..” he paused. “Cuddle with me and make me feel something… Please I’m scared and feel so empty inside…” he was just... Broken, and high.

Ace grabbed his hand interlacing the fingers and went upstairs with him to his room. This had happened before but, normally Stuart was at his room and asked Ace for a hug, tea, or something when he was crying or too high to do anything. Place was empty as Noodle and Russ went out for grocery. There he laid Stuart on the mattress and held him close, lying next to him. "Is this good enough?"

2D cuddled into him, pressing close. “It is.. Your warmth and your smell..” he said softly, he was getting a bit touched starved without Murdoc around. “It’s.. Comforting..”. As drugs numbed his damaged brain, the only thing he could think about was the he was with Murdoc back, happy… As his hallucinations usually went.

Ace caressed his back... "Hope I can help you ‘D..." he kissed the top of his head "Wanna talk....?" He suggested. "If it makes you feel better...".

                “You talk to me, tell me a story” 2D said closing his eyes, seeming a bit calmer.

"Well... there was a guy once... he had a friend..  A close one. That he met randomly but it was the best thing even happened to him... You know that awesome and incredible person we meet in our lives...? This guy met him." he moved his hand to caress his face, wiping his tears.

2D peeled open his eyes to look at him. “Did he tell him how special he was to him..?” He asked softly.            

"Well he didn’t... cuz he already had someone to tell him he was special... but when his someone was away... he hugged him tight when he was crying... made him tea, cuddle with him and told him stories to ease his pain..." Ace stared him back, smiling and leaning closer.

If 2D was a bit smarter, he may have realized he was talking about them. But the drugs in his system was clouding his judgment. “Was he beginning to like him more with all that time with just him?” He asked curiously, big round black eyes shining with not dropped tears looking at him.

"Yeah... kinda a lot... he was falling in love with him actually... But that was really wrong ‘cuz he was already committed.... But he couldn't help... he smelled so nice, was so beautiful and his voice so soft... there was no way he couldn't feel in love with him...." Ace gently put his thumb on his lower lip looking him into the eyes. "He looked like an angel Stewie..." he whispered, choosing the best words to melt the singer.

2D felt his cheeks darken just a little bit looking right back at him. “And did he make his move..?” He whispered back

                "No he couldn't... he didn't know if... the special guy would want him... he had already another person... and he didn't know if he felt the same..." Ace kissed his nose. Finding totally lovely the way he was so red.

                 “Someone always told me you never know if you never try. Did he miss his chance?” He asked softly, flushing a bit dark at his little nose kiss and smiling dumbly.

                "There wasn't any chance Stewie... he just looked at his guy with other eyes .. from the distance... but..  all he wanted to do was kiss him and tell him how he really felt." He was mesmerized by 2D. "But he couldn't."

                “Why not? Did he not believe true love?” 2D asked. “He seems like a sweet guy for me.” he pressed the story, interested.

                "He was already in love with someone else, 'D.. that was his problem" he rested his hand on his hipbone, pulling him close... Stuart was just too dense. "That's why he would never be matched, got it pretty boy..?"

                2D was silent a moment, nodding. He didn’t mind the closeness. “Sometimes I don’t think there is so thing as... love.” he said quietly

                "Why do you say that Stewie..?" His eyes widened "Don't you love... Murdoc...?" he spit the last word with jealousy.

                 “I do..I just..don’t think were meant to be sometimes. We’re both such a mess we can’t even handle be together without complications.” He muttered.

                "So... you don't wanna be with him anymore...?" Ace's heart raced with anxiety... he knew the answer was the he still wanted to, but he had hope.

                2D was silent a moment. “I...don’t think so.” He quietly told him. It was just his fears talking. And drugs. Of course he still wanted to be with Murdoc, but with him in jail and no sign of returning too fast, he wasn’t sure what to do anymore. Part of him wanted to overdose purposely. Another part of him also wanted to fight.

                Ace didn't hold himself anymore. He cupped his face with both hands and kissed him passionately. It was a mistake and probably Stuart would shove him away and hate him, but he wouldn't have another chance. He closed his eyes and pressed their lips together.

                2D seemed to pause at what was happening. If he hadn’t been so wrapped up in his emotions he wouldn’t have kissed back. But he did. He closed his eyes and pressed closer into the kiss.

                Ace felt amazing that he kissed him back.. he deepened it, tasting the singer... he'd always wanted to do that... Tangled his hair and pressed his body closer... not really thinking.

                2D didn’t stop him, going right along with the kiss, his hands going on Ace’s back gently, since he was close. Ace couldn't help but held him by his hips and pull him really close, touching his whole body... he wished that for long. He hoped Stuart didn't come back to reality anytime soon.

                2D slightly stifled a moan at Aces movements, his nails very lightly digging into his shirt. It had been so long since he was touched like this. Ace felt that he encouraged him to go ahead, so he began kissing his neck, squeezing his hands under his shirt... he wanted to say lots of things... but if he did it Stuart would notice he wasn't who he wanted. He bit his neck roughly.

                He gasped, letting out a little whine of pleasure, as he missed Murdoc's bite. His kisses. Everything. He moved to wrap his leg around Ace slightly trying to grind against him. Ace felt his boner from under his pants. He slowly changed the hand on his hip to the middle of his legs. The other caressing his face and hair. He licked his earlobe and growled into it... kissing his neck after... Ace loved him moaning.. His voice was angelical.

                 “F-fuck” 2D whined out, feeling his whole face darken from Ace’s growling. Who used to growl into his ear was Murdoc. He pressed his hips up into his touch, “p-please” he practically begged.

                "Please what, Stuart...?" He squeezed his hand on his cock, changing that nickname for his birth name as things were getting serious. Now he bit his back this time harder almost making it bleed.  Feeling him hardening and Ace growing hard as rock. The singer was already wet with pre cum... God he wanted him now.

                2D gasped a bit louder at his bit. “Oh G-God fuck me, please!” He begged sounded needy, and helpless as he could already feel himself get wet with Precum too.

                Ace' eyes widened once again... he smiled.  He unbuckled his pants and took it off together with his underwear, stroking him feeling he was a sweat and panting mess.. Stuart was really needy, and Ace couldn't let a "friend" down. He was unbuckling his own pants too. Ace took off his boxers and spit on his hand to ease the process stroking his cock. He turned the singer other way around squeezing his ass. "Are you sure you want that...?" He kissed the back of his neck.

                2D arched himself up,. God if Murdoc saw him now he’d be calling him a little whore. He lightly spread his legs even. “P-please Ace, just fuck me.” he said quietly almost sounding pitiful.

                Ace heard his name... So Stuart was aware that was him and not Murdoc huh? He was pretty conscious... "You don't know how I've waited to do this Stewie..." He spread his cheeks and gently rubbed his cock on his entrance... God he felt he was so tight.. Murdoc was definitely a lucky man. Ace couldn't help but moan and growl next to his ear... he pulled Stuart against him by his hips... entering him really slowly... "Fuck..."

                2D was tense, as it had been a lon,g long time since the last time he shagged. His hands were digging into the sheets, trying to let out a good breath, biting his lip.

                Ace was gentle... he entered really slow fighting against the urge to tear him in the middle... He panted and kissed him where he could, back, shoulder, neck... His hand moved from his hip to his cock, stroking it... Trying to ease the pain. He was finally buried into the singer.. he smiled widely.

                2D was sweaty and in pleasure already, he let out a soft moan, seeming to loosen up a bit. Especially with his cock being stroked “F-fuck”.

                "May I... move...?" He asked moving his hand to squeeze his nipple... his mouth didn't stop kissing and biting him... his neck was covered in bruises.

                “P-please, ravish me” he whined, truly sounding like the slut he was. If he wasn’t so fucked up in the head right now he would feel dirty.

                Ace began what he was told to... if he wanted to be fucked he would be. He grabbed his waist digging his nails and began thrusting him with strength and rage... after he felt Stuart was moving with him he changed his hand to his neck, squeezing it, never stopping his thrusts. "Fuck you're so tight..." he moaned in pleasure, scratching his back.

                If 2D was able he would be rolling his eyes back right now as his was moaning, and squeaking with each thrust, he was even almost drooling. “Y-you’re so big.” he groaned out shakily as his legs was already trembling against Ace.

                Ace smiled devilishly... he slapped his ass.. Stuart behaved just like a slut. He buried his teeth on the crook of his neck groaning. He grabbed his shaking leg lifting it spreading them so he could fuck him harder and deeper. Once again digging his nails into the skin of his thigh.

                Once Ace started getting harder and deeper 2D could feel his whole face getting red as he was practicing screaming in pleasure, drool finally dripping from his mouth. It seemed like he was hitting his ‘g-spot’.

                "Stuart.. I'm... close..." He whispered into his ear...  He said between thrusts. Again he choked the singer.... "I want to cum inside you..."

                2D was panting, his whole body trembling, his breathing even sounding shaky. He had no intention on stopping him if he wanted to come inside him. Murdoc was going to be so mad.

                Ace understood this "silence" and made the hardest and deepest thrusts he had ever made in his life.... "I want you to cum too..." he snarl into his ear... "Cum for me Stewie..." he stroked him fast and strongly.

                That’s all it took for 2D finally cum as it seemed he had been pent up for a long while, his whole body just shaking. If anyone hadn’t known better he would’ve been hyperventilating by the way he was breathing, but he was completely taken over with lust he was seeing stars.

                Ace came seconds after into him.. digging his nails on his hips letting a low growl from pleasure scape his lips... That was awesome, Ace smiled imagining the Satanist's face when he founds out. He panted and held the singer from behind. Silently.

                It took a while for 2D to calm down from fucking. He had fallen asleep pretty easily too, as he felt completely relaxed. He had given Ace a little tender kiss before getting comfortable and drifting to sleep, thinking he was laying next to Murdoc.

                 Once Ace had gotten up to most likely clean himself, Noodle was standing outside of the door with her arms crossed. She had gotten home and heard the screaming and was actually a bit pissed. “What the hell you think you’re doing?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://gabshmatos.tumblr.com)


	2. Break

Ace heard her voice and flinched "He asked for it. Even begged. I just did what a friend had asked me." he shrugged with a sly smile. "If I hadn’t done it he would shoot himself once again, would you like that to happen?". He used the drug addiction as an excuse.

                 “Don’t say it like that. I know you like him more than a friend Ace. 2D isn’t stable right now. He’s a mess. Out of his mind. Once Murdoc finds out about this he’s going to kill you and probably go back to jail.” Noodle frowned.

                "I don’t care. If he kills me and go to jail again Gorillaz is over, and that would really mess Stuart’s head... Maybe give the strength he needs to end his life." He narrowed saying that. Ace didn’t regret what he had done, Stuart begged for it. It was all his fault.

                "Murdoc doesn’t need to know about this. I guess Stuart wouldn’t even remember when he wakes up and get a little sober."

                 “Ace.. You know I love you.. But this is drawing a line. Did you mark him up? Is he going to be able to tell?” She narrowed her eyes.

                "Yeah... I kinda marked him... but marks will fade soon... and I can’t prevent him from telling, can I?." He sighed "Stuart cheated on him, I didn’t do nothing wrong, I'm single. And you will need me to play in the next shows. So I’m staying. Murdoc is away and not coming back any soon." He smiled "He will forget that tosser sooner or later, even told me he didn’t want to be with when he comes back anymore, Noodle." Ace knew Stuart was outta his mind.

                Noodle was silent a moment. “He’s probably going to see him tomorrow. They won’t be gone by then. Plus with how he was yelling I’m sure he’ll be sore.” she paused. “So what, are you trying to get him to date you now? Now that’s he’s ‘over’ murdoc?”

                "No I'm not... I just... did what I wanted with him. He was needy and easy. I wanted and he as well" He looked at her "He’s in love with Murdoc still and I’m okay with that. But he’s not coming back now is he? Maybe I have time to change his mind." He smiled "Let’s see if Murdoc is going to forgive him after seeing his marks... 2D would come running to me after Murdoc dump him."

                Noodle didn’t say anything else to him moving to go back downstairs.

 

 

                Only a few hours later Murdoc was told he had another visitor. Instead of 2D sitting in the chair, Noodle was there, playing with her nails as she anxiously waited on him.

                Murdoc found odd the fact that this time was Noodle around. He was sure she didn’t care if he was in prison.  "Hey luv...?" He said "Why are you so... nervous... And here…?" He looked concerned "I thought 2D was coming ...". Something was telling him things weren’t okay.

                Noodle looked to him with a straight face, slipping him a few cigarettes under the door flap. “You’re gonna kill him.”

                "Why would I do it, Noods?" He grabbed the cigarettes not understanding.

                She only brought them for him to calm him down. She decided to change the subject. “We all miss you.”

                "Noodle. Why would I kill Stuart?" He frowned getting angrier and squeezing the phone while speaking. He wasn’t angry at her but he should have done something hideous to make her go see him.

                 “Ace… Fucked him.” Noodle told him seriously. She wanted to tell him before 2D got there especially if he was marked up.

                Murdoc froze in place... "Fucked him of fucked him... up?" His eyes widened... he could not believe what he was hearing.

                “He fucked him. Like in the ass... Marked him up… He was screaming. I heard it, not saw.” She mumbled

Now murdoc wish he was dead... or deaf. He took a deep breath and told her "Noodle I want you to hear me carefully... okay?"

                Noodle was silent a moment. “Ok.” she told him, he could tell she wasn’t happy about it either.

                "Please tell Stuart that... he can only come back here to see me if he had found a way to take me outta here okay? If he didn’t I don’t want to see him anymore." He swallowed the anger and pain he felt, changing his face to a neutral one. "Don’t tell him anything. I would only talk to him when I'm out. I know he’s on drugs and stuff... Probably outta his mind now. If he knew … us… are over he would freak out or worse... I just don’t want to see him anymore okay?" He took a deep breath. "I won’t kill him nods. You have my word."

                Noodle frowned at him, a pained expression. “If it makes you feel any better I think Ace took advantage of him. I talked to him after, he treated it as sex meant nothing, just a desire he had around Stuart, but that you should probably know. He was high out of his mind.” she mumbled a bit. “I will tell him this though.. for you..”

                "I really..  really don’t want the details Noods... " He clenched his teeth in rage. "Please just..  tell him. I'll be okay.. Promise." Murdoc wouldn't explode in front of her. She didn’t deserve see it ‘cuz wasn’t her fault. "I knew that Ace and him so close wouldn't end well..  From the first time I saw him." he giggled squeezing the phone. He wouldn’t kill Stuart, but Ace, who knows? "Now I lost him, the band... everything..." He was in pain, but anger took him over. "Thanks for... at least telling me first. If I ever get outta here I wouldn't bother you guys anymore... you're much better with him. I got it." After knowing 2D did this, he wouldn’t want to continue seeing him. He could stay with Ace, Murdoc wouldn’t care.

                Noodle looked like she was gonna cry herself and that was saying something. “...Dad..please.” She mumbled into the phone, biting her lip.

                Murdoc felt a pang in his heart, she never called him dad before. Not even when she was younger, things should be really serious as she doesn’t show her feelings often, something Noodle learnt with Murdoc. "What...?" He whispered. "What can I do, Noods…? It's over." He cracked a smile. "I'm sorry it evolved you, luv. It's not your fault."

                Noodle just watched him for a moment. “I’m getting you out of here.”

"Are you? Why?" He looked curious and didn’t understand.

                “Because we need you. We’re a mess without you. You aren’t just our bassist you’re our family. Just because we have a new bassist doesn’t mean he’s our Murdoc.” She told him, her grip tightening on the phone, much like Murdoc’s did earlier, nervous to tell him how she really felt towards him. “He’s not my dad, you are.” He said in a neutral tone.

                Murdoc smiled. He saw into her eyes she still cared about him... "Okay Noods... I'm only doing this ‘cuz I love you and I care about our… family..." Murdoc was a bit unsure saying that. Besides the fact his heart was broken he felt happy she was still there for him. "But I can’t promise me and Stuart are getting back together okay?"

                 “You just leave everything to me.” Noodle told him her eyes glancing around as if she was looking for a camera or something. “I’ll get you out tonight. Just don’t go to sleep.” She muttered a bit softer. Sometimes she had a hard time showing how she felt, much like Murdoc. However lately she needed Murdoc to know Ace was just a replacement, it was still his band. If it meat busting him out she was going to her damn best to get him out. She acted as if she was scratching her ear, pulling out her earring. She carefully slid it to Murdoc. “I’ll be back tonight, just wait for me awake.”

Murdoc got the message smiling "Not sleep huh? You're really my daughter... thank you, Noodle" he smiled grabbing her earring.

                “Don’t thank me. It’s what any daughter would do for their dad.” She smiled back at him standing up. “Just remember what I said.” she told before leaving him.

                Murdoc waited silently till the night comes holding her earring... Besides the fact he was really angry, sad and devastated he was hopeful that she would do something to take him out there. He just didn’t know what and didn’t know if he was ready to see Stuart again. But He packed his things and waited anyway.

                It was around 4 in the morning when Murdoc’s attention was brought to the cell door he was in, as it was currently being open. There stood Noodle in a police hat. She was trying to be as quiet as possible. “We don’t have much time.” She muttered to him, looking to him.

Murdoc quickly grabbed his stuff and joined her "Tell the word and I'll do it" he whispered back. "And you look cute with this hat, luv" he smiled.

                She smiled back at him. “Thank you” she said softly moving to close the gate and hiding the keys in her pocket as she began walking down the hall, she was very quiet but seemed to move quick, excepting him to follow.

                Murdoc was really near her "Do you want me to take off my clothes? This bright orange doesn't help much not being seeing Noods.." Escape a prison only in underwear, very clever.

                 “I brought you a change of clothes.” She muttered, pushing a little bag into his chest.

                "Thanks..." he smiled running along with her trying not to make any noise. He almost tasted freedom.

                Noodle stopped, taking a shortcut through the bathroom. She looked to him. “Strip. There’s no one in here. I checked. No cameras.” She mumbled to him.

                Murdoc took off his clothes as fast as he could changing to the ones Noodle brought. They smelled like home. He smiled. "Let's get the fuck outta here."

                Noodle went out the back door that lead into the kitchen. Again, no one. There was a door propped open, she had left it open so it wouldn’t trigger alarms. She quickly lead him out but pushed him against the wall so the light wouldn’t detect them.  “Scoot” she gestured down the wall, pointing at the fence. She had dug a hole underneath it.

                Murdoc nodded and did what she asked. He found odd receiving orders from a person much younger than him... normally he gave orders and 2D attempted them... No, not the time to think about the Dullard.

                Noodle continued behind him letting the door latch as she held up some of the fence to make it easier to get out of. “Go.”

                She could feel her heart just pounding, mainly the adrenaline that everything could end very bad for both of them and he could get arrested as well. Murdoc felt the weight of the years pressing down on him as he went by. He didn’t exercise much in the prison and now regret it.

                Noodle easily made it under as she was always tiny, and pretty fit. Although she didn’t blame Murdoc. He was much older than her. She began taking him out into the road to her car. She quickly got in starting the car.

                Murdoc threw himself on the passenger’s seat... "I don’t have the words to thank you for that Noods... Not the time in life to show my gratitude." he smiled. "Finally we’re going home..."

                “Don’t thank me now.” She began driving. “I’ve been working on it since I left. Talked to a lot of people and..uh seduced a cop for the keys.” She shrugged. “I would’ve done it for you anyway.”

                "Sorry you had to go through that all Noods.  I'll promise I won’t get arrested again...” He didn’t promise he would do anything against the law, he promised he wouldn’t get caught. “I have too much to take care when we reach home..." he looked to the windshield narrowing. "If there’s still time to fix things.." he sighed.

                “I know. Don’t worry. I uh..Spoke to D. He locked himself in his room.” She sighed as she drove.

                "You told him what I said or... anything else..? Is he locked since when you left the prison earlier..?" He looked curious.

                 “Yea. He got mad at me.. swore me ..he’s a different person since you’ve been away. He looks like he’s been beaten.” She sighed visibly sad that his brother was wasted.

                "I know... he’s on drugs again... Fucking sad. I will be difficult for him to listen to me..." Murdoc knew the only person the singer allowed to get closer when he was at his lowest was the bassist.  He turned his head to her "but I'll try my best to bring 2D back... even if we're not together anymore, you all need him..." he thought for a moment "Is Ace home?"

                 “He’s.. Moved in yes. We gave him our spare room.” She told him honestly.

                "Fine... so... I kinda don’t have a room if Stuart doesn't want me there right?" Lots of things happened while he was out. His heart sunk knowing he was even living together with them. That should have easier things between him and 2D, that almost made him puke.

                “Well..You can share my room with me till we figure it out.” she told him trying to make him feel better.

                "Thank you..." he looked at the window "You know I can't share the same place with 2D and Ace, don’t you know Noods.. ? Don’t be mad at me but.. I won’t stay for much longer.  I'll have to find a place for myself.. But I promise I'd visit you every day" he smiled. In his head maybe Stuart really wanted to be with Ace… And if it was his will Murdoc wouldn’t interfere. But if Ace was just using him… Thing would get bad.

                 “You know you don’t have to move out. Ace isn’t living with us permanently.” She told him a bit saddened by that comment.

                "Luv.. You shouldn't have allowed him to live with you at first..." that was something that really hurt Murdoc, feeling replaced. Now he knew how Noodle and Russel felt in _Plastic Beach_ , fuck.

                 “He’ll leave. Imma make him leave. I just thought it would be easier because of our schedule when we make an album. We have a contract, but I can break it.”

                "Well as fast as I learn the songs of the new album... And prove that I’m innocent. As fast he would leave.." he smiled. "And I'll have my room back."

                 “You’re right.” She was silent for a little bit just riding. “He wrote all of those songs by himself you know.”

                "2D? Oh he’s talented.. I don’t doubt it" Murdoc really didn’t want to talk about the singer... "I heard the album... He said he wrote it for me.. " he had a sad glance... how could he write down him a full album and after.. Shag another bloke? Doesn’t make any sense.

                 “Yea, he was originally writing just a song for you but I guess his emotions got a little crazy when writing that album.” Noodle sighed. Tightening the grip on the wheel. “Russel’s gonna be happy to see you.” She changed the subject. “He doesn’t show it much but.. He did miss you. Even if he missed separate the fights”. She giggled.

                "Me and Russ have our differences... I'll promise I'll treat him better... and Stuart’s emotions... unfortunately I know where they come from, all this inspiration..." Something into him wanted Stuart back... missed him like hell. Actually missed any touch from another human being.

Noodle didn’t say much after that, as she was just thinking to herself, glad that she made it out of the jail just on plan A. She had several plans, much like Murdoc she liked to have back up routes. She finally pulled into the curb, putting the car in park. Turning to glance out to the house. No lights were on.

                "Well.. Home sweet home.. I guess.." Murdoc got out the car and took a look at the house..  He missed home as well.

                 “Are you nervous..?” She asked stepping out her hands going into her pockets to get the keys.

                "Kinda... I don’t think there’s a surprise welcome party waiting for me inside" he giggled "but I don’t think no one is awake... Did anyone know about your plan..?" He looked at her.

                “Russel knows, you know it’s hard to hide stuff from him.” Noodle slightly shrugged walking over to the door unlocking it. “Ace and 2D don’t know.”

                "Fine... I'll try to knock his door... hope he answers... "Murdoc was too worried that D had already done something to harm him. He couldn't be left alone when he was high. He took a look to the watch.

                 “Do you need me to try and coax him out of the room?” She asked opened the door and walking through.

                "No Noods.. thanks. I'd rather talk to him in a peAceful way" He was already imagining Noodle pulling him out by the hair. Fortunately, Murdoc had swallowed his rage and sadness... He was willing to talk to him as if a normal person would do. Calm enough for that. Murdoc even afraid of what he might find inside the room. He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

                Noodle nodded, hugging him. “Imma leave my door open in case you need a place to sleep.” She told him softly

"Thanks luv, wish me luck.. I'll move that old mattress... or sleep on the couch... Please rest" he gave her a kiss on the forehead "I love you." he smiled gently

                “I love you too. Dad” she smiled back to him, flushing, before moving to go upstairs to her room.


	3. Talk

 

                Murdoc took a deep breath and repeated the path to 2D’s room... or their room... Didn’t know anymore. He hesitantly knocked hoping he'd open thinking was Noodle, Russ or maybe Ace... There was dead silence, but there was shuffling heard in the room.

                Murdoc tried to open the door as he heard the noises...  he wouldn't speak loud ‘cuz 2D might recognize his voice. It was unlocked but as soon as it opened, 2D had began pushing against, trying to close it. He didn’t know who was on the other side but didn’t want any visitors. “Go away”, he whispered, his voice almost cracking.

                Murdoc pushed a little more trying to take him outta the way, still silent. He noticed by his voice, he wanted someone to come in... It sounded like a cry for help in disguise.

                2D couldn’t help it, he was weak, he couldn’t match Murdoc’s strength. Once the door was open and 2D saw it was him he immediately turned around, pulling the blanket around himself till he disappeared under the covers. “You’re not real I know for sure this time, please go away” his voice cracked in despair. He tangled his hair messing it, closing his eyes shut.

                Murdoc could tell he might be hallucinating for so long he couldn’t tell what was real what wasn’t anymore. "I'm real Stuart right here in front of you." he said in a low and calm tone. "The other times might not have been real but this time is me, flesh and blood" he took a step ahead and closed the door behind him.

                2D didn’t make an attempt to move from where he was. But the blanket slightly moved however, signaling that he was crying. He felt **horrible**. He even looked like the whore he was. His neck was drenched in hickeys and bite marks, he had marks on his hips and you could tell he was choked from earlier. His dark circles were baggier as he had been crying for hours. He couldn’t let Murdoc see him like this so he stayed under the cover. “You’re not real, you’re in jail.” He kept his eyes shut as he didn’t wanna face reality.

                "I was. Noodle took me outta there." He leaned closer and kneeled on the floor, facing his back. Murdoc placed a hand on his shoulder "See? You can feel me." He noticed Stuart was heavily crying but he was hurt too. He didn’t shed a tear.

Stuart flinched at the touch, peaking his head out of the covers to look at him. 2D’s cheeks were stained with tears and his hair was messed. He couldn’t believe Murdoc was really in front of him.

                "Oy Stuart" he whispered. "I'm back." All he could say. "And I'm real" he had a neutral face. Hundreds of feelings going through his heart.

2D stares at him for a long while before turning back around to lay his head on his knees,         “Why? To tell me I’m a whore? To scream at me? I’ve already been yelled twice today. I know I’m a p-piece of shit.” he mumbled, hiding.

                "No. I'm here to help you." He sighed. "I'm not mad at you." he said without any emotion. He needed Stuart to trust him or he could get even worse. Hurt the bassist like hell seeing his singer the way he was.

                 “I don’t believe you.” 2D sniffed. “You have every right to hate me. I hate me too.” he told him silently.

                "Yeah but I don't. And I'm not leaving you until you're better. No matter if it takes whole night. You don’t have to believe me, you just have to let me help." He said resting his hands on his knees. "You had all the right to hate me when I hit you and called you names in the past. But you didn’t" he stared at those black orbs he missed so much.

                2D seemed to just fall apart at that statement, starting to literally sob “you’re t-too late, I’m going to go to hell like I deserve” he sobbed, feeling broken again.

                "I was already going to hell since I was born, Stuart. C'mom, mate... I'm not late. Late I would be if I was dead." Murdoc was being really patient with him, even if he didn’t deserve. 2D had already taken care of him more than he could remember. When he was too drunk even to walk, the bassist had already puked on him, Stuart just helped him covered in bruises Murdoc had made and let him cry as much as he needed, dragging him to bed afterwards. Murdoc needed to do the same for him now. Was his turn to show he had changed. He closed his eyes preparing himself. "Take this blanket off." He said in a low order tone.

                2D shook his head making the tears wet all over. “No. Make me.” He told him being stubborn, as he knew the moment it was off Murdoc could want to beat him. And he thought it was what he deserved.

"Please Stuart. I don’t wanna hurt you." He said defenseless looking at his eyes with his exhausted ones. Murdoc didn’t want to even touch the singer.

2D moves to take off the blanket, giving in. All this marks showing, as he was only wearing pajama pants. However all the bruises and such were visible. Along with that was a few fresh cuts into his arm. It was clear 2D had self harmed while alone today.

                Murdoc swallowed. He took a deep breath trying to ignore the thoughts that he knew who had touched his singer. "I will help you with that, okay? You can’t go to bed with all this open cuts. They might get infected." His heart ached seeing that they were really recent.

                 “Let them be.. I deserve it.” 2D told him not even attempting to move.

"Quit bitching, Stuart. I got an infection in jail cuz I didn’t cleaned my bruises and cuts properly. Well no one cleaned them for me." He stood up. His face was sore still and he had some bruises, a lot more than the singer… "I don’t want this to happen to you." He stood up. "Please come with me." He said not touching 2D. They needed to go to the bathroom.

                2D seemed hesitant but got up, he was having trouble walking, but went to the bathroom with him. He was silent as he stood in the doorway. “I’m not going any further in the bathroom. I don’t want to see myself in the mirror.” He closed his eyes, sobbing and shaking.

                Murdoc sighed, he grabbed the nearest towel and put it in front of the mirror. "See? Now you won’t see yourself. Please sit on the toilet, Stuart."

                2D made a face sitting on the toilet but showed no signs of making things easier for Murdoc, even if he was just trying to help. In hiss face he didn’t deserve any help or compassion as he made a hideous mistake.  His marks looked worse under the bathroom light.

                Murdoc grabbed the first aid kit. "Listen I'll clean those cuts and cover then in bandages. The other marks I'd put ointment. Please if it hurts tell me and I'll go softer okay?" He said slowly in front of him as he didn’t understand English. "Arms out, Stuart." 2D just looked at him, he was going to put up a fight but he wanted him to touch him so he put his arms out.

                Murdoc took a deep breath to avoid his own tears and began working... with every cut, bruise and mark. Little cotton balls covered in blood falling on the floor... He seemed have gotten into a fight. “I’m o-ok...see?” The singer lied to himself and Murdoc.

                "No you're not." Murdoc said with his eyes covered by his thick fringe. Always looking to his arms, never his eyes. He hesitantly took care of cuts and bruises on his neck and hips..  He knew they were from Ace. Murdoc was waging a difficult battle with his inner demons. God knows where he took the strength to do all that.

                2D winced once his hips were touched, he didn’t think Ace was going to be that rough, but God, between choking him and slamming into him 2D felt like it was an out of body experience. He couldn’t tell it wasn’t good.

                "Now you're better." Murdoc looked if he forgot any place. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

                 “No.” 2D mumbled, but he hadn’t ate all day. He didn’t want food he just wanted to take it back. “I love you.”

                Murdoc closed his eyes and took a deep breath again avoiding his rage with his guts tightening... He missed hearing those words coming from his voice. "Please, Stuart. Just don't" his voice almost cracked. "C'mon, mate. You need to sleep" he stood up with back to him going out the bathroom.

                2D grabbed his arm. “Murdoc please, don’t you want me back..?” He asked sounding desperate.

                "Please Stuart I don’t want to answer this now. I don’t want to talk about this now." He had his back turned to the singer. It was growing difficult to be calm as pain and anger inside him increased.

                Stuart squeezed his arm shaking. “I want you back… I didn’t do it in purpose, I swear, I didn’t want…” He sobbed trying to convince the older man.

                Murdoc's heart stopped for a moment. "I don’t believe you." He said in a low dark tone. And pulled his arm back feeling his interior burn. His hands bailed into fists and his shoulders went up as his head went down. He thought he was about to have a heart attack right now. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to breathe.

                 “I’m telling the truth.” 2D said his arms going around him gently, knowing that he couldn’t take back what he did and he deserved Murdoc’s abuse right now. He even wanted it.

                "Stuart, let me go. Stay away from me." He said with clenched teeth. Trying to stay calm. "I really don’t want hurt you. Don’t make it hard on us." his hands were shaking.

                 “No! Stop being a dick and acknowledge me!” 2D slightly snapped at him hugging him a bit tighter, he wanted him to hurt him, to make them even. Just so he could live with himself.

                "You fucked all up this time, Stuart. And hitting you won’t make it different or better." It was a dick move hitting someone you just treated the wounds wasn’t it?

                “I wasn’t thinking! He kissed me I just wanted to be cuddled I didn’t want all this!” 2D snuffed. “Please just hit me and make us even!”

                "We will never be even Stuart." He with an abnormal strength pulled out his hands from him. Avoiding any bandage not to hurt 2D. "You could've waited for me... I wasnt cuddling anyone. I was in jail missing you... and worse... believing in you." He sighed.

                2D glanced down. “Then look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t want me anymore.” He told him, frowning.

                Murdoc turned around staring him silent for some moments. He frowned, seeing into those eyes he deserved that. Seeing Stuart when he was younger and begged him to stop with tears on his face. All the bag things he had done to his singer came to his mind all at once. "I cant." He whispered.

He moved to wrap his arms around him in a hug, pressing up against him, his hand going into his hair to let him cry. “Then what can I do to be forgiven..?”

                "I don’t think you can do anything this time... you cheated on me... you're on drugs... you lied to me again..." He shoved 2D. "Stuart I don’t know if I want us to be together. But I’m still your mate... that's why I am here. You were there for me when I needed. You're wrecked... you needed care... fuck... it messed with my head and fucking hurts." he tangled his hair. He looked him "Why Stuart, why did you do that?"

                “I guess you know how it feels now..” 2D said, his face looking less desperate and angrier, referring to Murdoc taking away his happiness years ago. He looked down, not even bothering to look at him as he grabbed his blanket once again just like a child and wrapped it around him with a sniff. He was gonna cry again. “I’m sorry for wasting your time.” he said shakily.

                "I'm sorry for loving you more than I ever loved anyone in this fucking life." He almost yelled “Guess it wasn’t enough for you, was it?" He narrowed his eyes. "When I'm away you just got... needy...and.. and.." He snarl at the end of the sentence.

                 “Don’t use that manipulation tactic on me! I’m sorry that I forgave you for all the shit you done to me when we were younger. Any smart guy would’ve left you in a blink of an eye but I stayed because I fucking cared about you! I want to be with you. I’m fucking up ok? I’ve always been a fuck up, you’ve always deserved better than me, Murdoc.”

                "Shut up!" He yelled. "That's fucking enough." He thought about Stuart and Ace together again and felt his dinner on his throat. "I'm exhausted and hurt and so are you." He sighed. "I’m not going to hit you no matter how much you want me to do that and provoke me and I want to forgive you Stuart. I just can’t do it now." The singer forgave him for everything… Should he do the same?

2D never had confidence to yell at Murdoc but right now, with the drugs in his system he was feeling pissed.

                “You only ever liked me because I was your “Angel”. Now I think I’m the devil for you aren’t I? You know what? I _hate_ you.” 2D sobbed just shouting words that he didn’t mean.

                Now Murdoc was hurt. He knew Stuart didn’t mean anything he said, it was drugs speaking. They always fought in life, but he never heard those words coming from his singer. "Okay." He finally said. _Really_ hurt hearing that. He turned away from his singer. Murdc felt all his strength drain away after that.

                Stuart didn’t even look at him as he got in bed, crying to himself. Was he going to regret living tomorrow? Probably.

                 “I fought for you but you won’t fight for me.” 2D sobbed under his blanket. This really was the end wasn’t it? Murdoc heard it and sighed. "I don’t know what to do."

                 “I need you more than anyone else. I chose you over everyone. My family, my will, my life, everything… I’m broken Muds.” Stuart continued his crying.

                "Why didn’t you chose me above .... Ace...?" He said spitting that name with rage.

                “He fucking looks like you mate. I’m miserable without you. I was high outta my mind. I guess it was my way of expressing I missed you.”

                "Shagging another guy... ? Being high outta your mind...? Not clever ones." He folded his arms. "You're bloody high even now. I know you didn’t mean what you said before, tosser"

                 “So what do I not mean what I say? Or what I’m saying now? I love you Murdoc ok? I would do anything to take it back but I can’t, and it’s killing me. I just want to lay here and die.”

                "I should kill you. I really could" he thought for a moment... pain minimizing into him. "But I won’t. It would easier things to you."

                “Please just do it Murdoc.. I can’t handle this.. I just wanna go back in time..” Murdoc shivered hearing he wanted that he killed him.

                "You can't. And there are people that need you alive. You'll have to deal with your mistake the way I deal with mine. And crying under a blanket won’t solve anything." He narrowed his eyes changing his posture.

                2D sat up a bit too fast, having to hold onto the bed frame as it seemed like he was going to puke. He took a shakily breath. “How am I going to solve it then?”

                "Well. Since I arrived here... you said what you did and stuff. I already knew all that. But you didn’t say you're sorry or asked me to forgive you... guess that's the first step." He softened his expression.

                2D looked at him; “Murdoc.. I am sorry.. I was sorry the moment I realized I fucked up.. I really want to be with you and you only...” He looked at Murdoc, with sincere eyes. “I guess you getting arrested was the straw that broke my back. I couldn’t handle it..I can’t live without you.. You’re my medicine” he told him softly. “I want your forgiveness.” He sniffed wiping his tears.

                Murdoc cracked a smile. He didn’t want to lose him… Not at all. "After that you can tell me if you want my help with drugs once again. And when the times passes I can decide if we’re together or not... Now that we put out all our pain... it can work like that." He sighed "I'm still your mate. Best mate."

2D let out a little sigh. This was just how it had to be. He understood that. Murdoc needed time.. He would give him time.

                “..I want your help, please..” he said softly swallowing his pride.

                "I can help you." He leaned closer and sat on the bed with him. "Listen I came here to check on you. I treated your wounds cuz I care about you. I need time to heal mine. To deal with them." Murdoc decided he really wanted to overcome all that.

                2D nodded, not trying to touch him this time. “I care about you too..I’ll do whatever you need me to do.. To help you treat yours.”

                "For now... I think it's better for both of us think for a while. Just for this first moment. It doesn't mean I don’t miss you. But someone… touched you... I need some time to deal with it." He tried to understand Ace took advantage of Stuart, he wasn’t thinking and he deserved that feeling after all he got his singer into.

                2D looked sad but he nodded. “Ok… anything you need. Time, spAce.” He told him, even if it killed him.

                "Good. But you can call me for help anytime you need. You're not alone." He tried to smile. Murdoc thought too that the best option was help Stuart with his problem. Even if they didn’t stay together at least he would do something good to him and keep him alive, singing and happy. 2D was afraid but nodded. “Ok..you’re right..”

                "Fine... so I guess we solved ourselves. Sorry for yelling at you. I was angry and hurt. We'll figure it out what will happen from now on okay? Just want you to know that I don’t love you any less ‘cuz of this and I won’t cheat on you on revenge. You have my word." he sighed "I'll try my best to forgive you... I just need some time Stuart, hope you understand that.” He stared at his singer "For this while I'll focus in take care of you. After we’ll see what would happen to us.”

2D sighed softly but understood. “Fine for me..” he said softly “That’s gonna be the only way..”.

                "You did it before, you can do it again." he looked at him. "Aren’t you happy..? What’s the problem?" He softened his voice "You know you can talk to me.". He noticed Stuart didn’t seem so satisfied with him staying.

                “No I’m happy.. I promise.. I’m just...tired.” 2D told him.

                "So rest. It was a long night... But.. “ He thought for a second  “There's still something I want you to do for me." He had a serious expression.

                2D looked to him. “I will do anything..” he told him softly “anything”.

                "Please give me what you are using. Everything. I can’t know if your really giving me everything once my trust in you is ... really low now. So I kindly ask you to be honest" Murdoc knew there was no other way that he could stop him from using. "You can keep your pills, Guess you should take some, those bruises might be hurting like hell and I guess your head too"   

                2D moved to stand up, almost tripping. He went over the his desk, opening the drawer. Unlike last time he was on more than just heroin. He had a whole bag of drugs, LSD, needles, coke. He wasn’t proud of it but it was the truth. “Here.”

 Murdoc's eyes widened. "Stuart, I've been out for only a bloody month... How did you get all those?" He looked at the bag.

                2D sat down back on the bed. “I just..ran into a guy that happened to be a drug dealer. I didn’t even have to pay for it..” He said in a whisper as he was telling him a secret.

                "The problem is not the money D..." He rubbed the bridge of his broken nose "You could have died... using all that.." his hands squeezed the bag. "Were you that bad without me?" He turned to look at him.

                2D shifted just a little. “When you left you took a big part of me with you.. I...just couldn’t handle being alone and empty..I needed something to numb me.. And there you go.”

                Murdoc heavily sighed. "Yeah... I didn’t have anything to numb me in jail, I know how you felt, but completely sober." He sighed "Now I know I can’t let you alone... I'm sorry. And glad you didn't died... I wouldn’t forgive myself" He told Stuart all honestly.

                 “I deserve to die..” 2D shook his head just a bit. He interlocked his fingers. “I tried but Noodle found me first. You would’ve been better off.”

                "Why you keep telling lies about yourself Stuart..?. Besides me Noodle and Russel loves you too. You don’t deserve to die just ‘cuz you made a mistake. We all make. I made huge ones in my life... And for some reason I’m not dead." He felt dread into his soul thinking what would happen if he loses his singer. "Don’t tell me this. You're the most important person in my life. I'd go insane without you... I need you to keep me sane, Stuart. Can’t you see that in those twenty years?" He looked into his eyes "I'm here aren't I? I won’t let you destroy yourself. I wouldn't be better without you." He admitted, fear making his tongue loosen.

                2D looked at him. “I k-know I’m just so mad at myself” He was just needing rest, although tomorrow he would be very sore.

                "It's just a hard time, like others we had. It will pass...” He smiled at him. "I just don’t… understand why I can’t be mad at you..." he looked to other direction. "I guess it's because you outta my life would hurt a lot more than what you've done wrong."

                Stuart smiled, trying to understand what he said. Noticing he felt exactly the same about Murdoc. “I’m going to try hard to make you as happy as I can.”

                "Okay... me too." He stood up leaving 2D behind and grabbing his bag. "I'll get... rid of this... and we'll start again." He sighed remembering all the withdrawals 2D got into that he would have to help him again... He was feeling tired.

                “Ok.. I will do it. For you.” He told him softly with a small smile. “I.... love you.”

                "Do it for your bloody self, Stuart. So I can be with you longer. If that's what you want..." he walked to the door. "Love you too." He smiled looking at the singer.

                2D gently wrapped himself up into the blanket, looking at him, with a bit of a small smile. “Sleep well...”. Murdoc got out. He needed to drink.


	4. Fight

 

                Murdoc thought Stuart would ask him to sleep together. As he didn’t, he felt relieved. Wouldn’t be nice telling him a no. The bassist put some of what was into the bag in the trashcan, the rest he threw into the toilet. After all done he decided to rest a bit on the couch. Noodle was already sleeping and he didn’t want to bother her. The last thing he remembered was 2D's smile... he looked better. And it was all Murdoc’s heart ever wanted.

                2D was going to ask him he was just afraid it was too soon. Murdoc said he wanted spAce. The bassist woke up to Ace standing in front of him, just looking at him. “Did you escape? Cause I can call the police.” He said with his New York, Italian accent.

                "Morning, tosser." He woke up frowning "Noodle took me outta there yesterday. And I don’t bloody have to give you any explanation."

                “I mean you kinda do. This is my house now” Ace shrugged.

                "Your house? Over my dead body you fucker" he stood up in a start "It's my band! You're just a replacement!" He pointed a finger into his chest.

                 “Actually now its Stewie’s band, and I’m their beloved bass player.” He told him with a smile. “I’m pretty sure whoever’s fucking the lead singer gets a free pass.”.

                "My ass." he punched him in the face directly on his nose. He felt his blood boil when he heard "fucking the lead singer". "You're fucking outta this house right now." He grabbed his collar "and never dare to talk about Stuart anymore." He clenched his teeth and was about to spit on his face.

                Ace could feel his nose start bleeding, he glared. “You can’t make me do anything, everyone wants me here!” He snapped moving to punch him back, but in the gut instead.

                "No one wants you here you cunt" he felt the punch and panted with his hand where he received the blow "Fuck” He wasn’t ready to it "Get the fuck out before I make you" that really hurt, but he stood up with the help of adrenaline rushing through his veins.

                 “You don’t scare me old man. Of course, 2D wants someone younger like me, what are you? 70? You sure look like it” he punched his cheek as he stood.

                Murdoc received the other punch and kicked him in the balls. When Ace fell he jumped over him and began hitting him all over. Fuck, that drove him insane. He knew he was much older, that tickled his pride.

But the bassist learnt how to fight in jail... and if he had to kill Ace to get him outta 2D’s life... that was how it was going to be. The Satanist wasn’t thinking that may that was what Ace wanted… He going to jail again, this time guilty and for murder. Hoped just that they fight didn’t wake up no one in the house.

                That was an understatement as Murdoc felt a large set of arms grabbing him and pulling him off Ace. It was Russel. “What the hell is going on?”

                “He attacked me!” Ace fixed his shades with a huff.

                "Let me go Russel! I'll kill this fucker!" He tried to break free without success. Murdoc stopped the struggle. Ace was right, he attacked him, but he didn’t regret.

                “No you ain’t killing no one in this house. If this is about 2D then you both need to grow up. You’re acting like you’re in high school.” He huffed not letting Murdoc go.

                "I want Ace out. And put me on the bloody floor for Satan’s sake" Murdoc was mad, his fists bloodstained matching with his face. "What do you want me to do? Talk to him? Negotiate?" He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

                Ace was pushing back his hair, rolling his eyes. “You’re a mad man. Of course you won’t talk to me like an adult. Must be why 2D lost interest.”

“Ok Ace shut up. We aren’t going there with this.” Russel was always the band's peAcemaker, since the very first beginning, if it weren’t for his interference Gorillaz would never get where it was.

                "What is your suggestion, Russel?" He folded his arms. "I'm back and I can’t share the same roof with this..  bloke." He looked to Ace frowning.

                “Then you will avoid each other. Ace can’t leave us until you’re name is cleared. Do you think they’re not going to come after you the moment you’re on stage?” Russel was the only one reasoning.

                "I won’t go to stage Russel, I know what I did for fuck's sake. I'm not stupid. This twat just need to play in shows, he doesn't need to live here." He pointed to Ace. The truth was that he didn’t want Ace around when 2D was around as well. The house would become a battlefield. First thing he gets when you get home is a whole new problem. And Murdoc can’t even go out, or he would get caught.

                “It’s not your decision. He’s on the album, he has a contract. It can’t be broken yet.” Russel told him.

                “So I’m here whether you like it or not!” Ace smiled devilishly.

                Murdoc growled "Fine. But if he got near 2D once more I’ll kill him and you won’t prevent me from doing that, Russel." he looked at the drummer.

                Russel sighed moving to set Murdoc down. “Go clean yourself up. I’m going to talk to Ace.”

                Murdoc snarled to Ace before going to the bathroom to wash his face and check the bruises, 2D was gonna be mad at him when he wakes up. Things were getting rough.

                2D was standing in the doorway once Murdoc started cleaning himself.

                “Wot happened..?” he rubbed his eyes glancing over him.

                Murdoc flinched "Good morning for you too.” He sighed “I was envious of your injuries and decided to make new ones. He laughed but Stuart’s face didn’t look very happy with the joke. “I... started a fight. With Ace." he said not looking at him. "He thought he could fight back and here I am." he washed his face and looked at the big purple bruise in his stomach from the blow. “Now I’m fucking gorgeous.. aren’t I? No matter how much they hit him, my face only gets better…” He smiled to the mirror that almost break seeing him.

                 “Do you need help.. Getting cleaned up...?” Stuart asked softly moving to step in the bathroom, his hand gently touching his stomach.

                Murdoc whined in pain. "Please." He didn’t want anything… But always let his singer help him even with the most insignificant things because he knew that he felt happy being useful. The bassist knew what he did was wrong, no one needed to tell him he had fallen into Ace’s trick. 2D wasn’t mad at him for some reason. He let his arms fall on his sides, just too tired to do anything.

                2D wasn’t mad about Ace at all, he gently pressed a kiss into his stomach, moving touch it again gently as he looked to him.

                "What he told about you... I couldn’t let him say what he wanted..." He shivered feeling his touch, for a long time he missed Stuart... His sweet and tender, slender fingers. "And he will stay here... So I’ll have to get used to it. We’ll."

                 “Don’t worry. I want you to stay in my room, Muds..” he said softly moving to put some cream on him gently. Murdoc mentally thanked him, but he wasn’t ready to lay where they had fucked previously.

                Murdoc's glance fell and his hands once bailed into fists loosened. "I just... Don’t want him around. He touched you." his words echoed into his mind, hurting him. He said like 2D was some kinda toy or something.

                 “I don’t want to be around him either. Not anymore..” 2D said softly, looking up at him, frowning.

                Murdoc cracked a smile. "I'm glad to hear that." He thought for a moment. "You know he used you, don’t you ‘D?" He looked into his eyes one raised brow. 2D was silent a moment. “Yea.. I know..”. Different from Murdoc that avoided feeling guilty lying to himself… Stuart assumed his mistake.

His whole life, people took advantage of him, his goodwill, gentleness and patience. So Stuart simply assumed that all the problems that happened to him were why he was dumb and his brain didn’t work properly. Especially for things he felt and could not explain, he was stupid, simple as that.

                Murdoc sighed. "Thank you… Russel is talking to him right now." He pressed a hand on his sore cheek.

                 “Let me get you some ice.” Stuart said softly. “Is that ok?” The singer always cared and helped everyone around him when who really needed help was him.

                "Fine..." Murdoc whispered, too exhausted to feel angry at his kindness. He liked a lot to be spoiled and now Stuart needed to do that if he wanted him back. How do they 3 would make it into the same place together? Murdoc sighed. He would have to learn how to behave his anger or the situation would be unsustainable.

                 “Sit on the toilet. I’ll be right back.” 2D told him kissing his forehead.

                Murdoc couldn’t help but smiling feeling his singer this tender with him... He had almost forgot how he was when he was in jail.

2D was freaking out on the inside. Ace and Murdoc could’ve killed each other. He just needed to be here for him. He came back, holding a bag of ice. “I’m back.” He said quietly moving to press it against his cheek gently.

                "Thanks, mate" Murdoc smiled to him "Are you okay..?" he was concerned about 2D's features.

                 “Yes..I’m just worried about you is all..” he told him with a little smile.

                "I'll promise I won’t enter in a fight with him anymore... So you won’t be worried. As long as he is far from you, I'm fine with that." Murdoc still wanted to kill him, but seeing Stuart’s face broke him. "It's just for a while... till the contract ends."

                 “I know… It’s a year long.” he said with a little sigh, preparing himself for the worse. “Maybe… we’ll be moved out by then..”

                "Maybe." Murdoc closed his eyes. Stuart always had this stupid idea they could live apart from the other band members, travel around the world and stuff… Like a regular couple. Something they just weren’t. "I just wanna forget that this all happened." he sighed.

                 “We’re… Still working on it.” 2D said softly. “I’m gonna make things right.” He couldn’t even stand up so high he was, but if there was something Stuart want to do was fix things.

                "I know you will.” Murdoc smiled. "I want to forgive you... I really do." he looked into those black orbs again.

                 “You’ll forgive me... for everything?” 2D asked almost a bit taken back.

                "I don’t know... Have you forgiven me for everything...?" he had never asked Stuart that. Murdoc never really told him he was sorry about anything. Were just things… That time was in charge of erasing. Murdoc’s nature was to act like he didn’t feel guilty for anything he had done wrong or to harm his singer. Stuart's was to forgive and forget. Yes, at this point the two understood each other very well.

                 “I always have.” he told him and he meant it. There wasn’t a day he hadn’t forgave him for;

                "You're just too good." He stood up placing a hand on his shoulder. “Time will heal it all… L-let's see if Russel had made some progress huh?" Murdoc stepped back holding the bag against his face.

“Are you sure you wanna do that?” 2D asked knowing it probably wasn’t smart for him to be near Ace so soon.

"I do. And you need to have breakfast... I bet you didn’t eat well for days..." he put a hand on his shoulder "C'mon I swear I'll behave" he smiled.

 “Ok” 2D nodded gently, moving to take Murdoc’s hand and began waking him.

They went to the kitchen... Russel and Ace were there now. The drummer cooking and the other male waiting to eat, severely injured and with folded arms staring his plate. Murdoc just looked at them wordlessly. He was angry, but 2D softened him a bit.

Ace was sitting at the table he glanced over 2D mainly looking at the marks he left, now covered in bandages he thought Murdoc was responsible for. He smiled to him. “Hello Stewie, sleep well, dear?”

2D shifted looking to Murdoc before nodding. “Yes.”

"What do you want for breakfast?" He asked Stuart not bothering with Ace’s teasing. And not asking Russel what happened either.

Russel was already making a little something. “Do you guys want what I’m making? Eggs, toast and tomatoes.”

2D hummed. “Will you eat with me,Muds?” He smiled to the older man.

"Of course..." he leaned closer Russel. "Thanks man. Sorry for earlier." He tried his best to show 2D he improved his behavior but wasn’t really sorry for anything. He was ignoring his stomach but it was already aching from hunger... and the food in prison sucked.

Russell gave him a nod. “No problem. Go ahead, have a seat.” Better not talk to Stuart what had happened now. 2D hesitates waiting for Murdoc to move first. He didn’t wanna seem like he wanted to sit with Ace.

Murdoc sat next to Ace on purpose. He wanted to show he wouldn't fight even if he teased. He pulled a chair to 2D. Smiling at him. He would have to get used to the fact they are living together, for a year.

2D seemed to look at him for a moment before sitting down.

“You look like you were gangbanged last night Stewie. I bet you’re ass is sore.” Ace teased just messing around a bit since Murdoc was so close and not reacting, he felt free to say whatever he wanted.

 

“Oh uh.. I guess I’m sore. It doesn’t matter now” he mumbled as Russel set them each down a plate, absentmindedly. The drummer would only interfere if they fight, besides that, nothing.

Murdoc hoped that Russel would do something to make Ace stop... He knew Stuart was with him so it didn’t matter. The only thing he wasn’t enjoying was how Stuart looked sad and ashamed with his comments. He held his hand from under the table and gently smiled at him encouraging not to feel bad at what Ace was saying about him. "Thanks Russ."

2D looked to Murdoc with a little smile, “Eat it all for me..?” He whispered as he was trying to show he was taking care of him.

"You too D, you lost weight. Please. Even if you're not hungry." Murdoc didn’t know how much he had taken from drugs previously. He didn’t know if Stuart eat too much he could puke or something.. The bassist was just worried. 2D nodded “I promise.”

“Seems like you’re back in line with your daddy back.” Ace commented venomous, 2D rolled his eyes just a little.

"Yeah, we're back together." Murdoc smiled to Ace. Confident for the first time since he arrived.

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that, guys" Noodle appeared by the door smiling. She joined them "Morning people." And narrowed her eyes to Ace, probably she heard his commentary.

2D nodded gently, “Yea were not going anywhere..”. Now he understood why Murdoc wanted him out so bad. Ace was just a dick.

“Mmm, I guess sluts always go for the bad guys anyway.” Ace shrugged.

Murdoc counted mentally to ten backwards. He called his singer a slut... God he was asking to be killed. This band wasn’t going anywhere if he hadn’t come back.

Noodle noticed Murdoc’s face. She was playing with a knife and all of a sudden she tucked it against the table very near Ace's fingers.

"Okay Ace, I'm just gonna say this once. I took Murdoc outta jail cuz I wanted to do that, he's living with us now. He is our bassist and _my dad,_ you're just a replacement, and once the contract is over I want you out this house got it? Russ don’t interfere." She pointed to the drummer. "You both are living together from now own, so you better behave or I’ll make your lives a living hell, don’t challenge me." Noodle was willing to say all those words at once, otherwise she wouldn’t have the guts for that. After that she smiled and went to grab a plate for her.

Russell didn’t say a word, looking to her as if nothing happened. 2D had just kept his gaze on his plate. Ace didn’t say a word either, as he did seem upset though as he thought Noodle would be there for him no matter what.

Noodle smiled, guessed her idea worked. She had learned a thing or two with Russel about dealing with problems. Maybe now things would be better. She grabbed her plate and headed to the living room to eat while watching TV, leaving once again the boys alone.

Murdoc was speechless... proudly thinking about his daughter, only her could shut Ace up... he began eating happier than he was before.

2D seemed to pick around on his plate, not seeming hungry. He was just happy to see murdoc happy. It didn’t take Ace long to get up and walk out, not finishing his food.

Murdoc sighed. "What's the matter D...?" He asked hesitantly.

 “I haven’t had much of an appetite lately, but I’m trying” he told him looking to him with a little toothless smile

"That's okay... don’t force yourself." He cracked a smile. "Guess it's still difficult for you to deal with all that..." he kept eating, Russel's food was very tasty.

2D wasn’t going to force himself but he didn’t wanna seem like he wasn’t trying. Murdoc was giving him a chance of a life time right now. He couldn’t just half ass it. He finished his eggs even if it was a bit slow.

Murdoc was patient and noticed that Stuart was trying hard. “Don’t choke yourself.." finishing his plate as well.. "Thirsty?"

2D nodded. “Yes. Are you? I can get us something.” He moved to stand, taking Murdoc’s plate with his to the sink.

"Water, please" he watched how Stuart walked to the sink, he looked like a mummy all covered in bandages and really thin.

2D had gotten him water, getting himself some milk, putting a little bit of chocolate in it. He wanted to seem like...he could take care of himself. He walked back over to the table with the two glasses, handing it to him.

"Thank you.." Murdoc smiled. "How are you feeling now? Did you rest?" he had a look full of concern, as they didn’t sleep together even when he was around this time.

2D sipped at his drink. He didn’t sleep well at all, but murdoc didn’t need to know that. “Yea, I slept ok.. Did you sleep ok?”

"Fine until Ace arrived..." he rolled his eyes drinking his water. "Is there anything planed for today.. I mean, with the band?"

 “We have an interview with a magazine I think” 2D told him, trying to think.

Russell nodded. “3 o’clock.”

"Fine..." Murdoc felt a bit upset ‘cuz him couldn’t appear... " The press must be talking about me right now... that I disappeared from prison..." he giggled trying to avoid bad thoughts.

 “It was on the news this morning.” Russell told them, 2D shifting. “You don’t think they’re going to come looking here right, Muds..?”

"If they do I'd hide. You say you don’t know anything about me..." he shrugged "there ain't many things we can do now... we need to prove my innocence so that I can go back to shows and stuff.. I can’t hide forever." He tried to soothe things for 2D. He seemed scared.

2D smiled. “We’re going to prove your innocence I promise..”

"I just don’t know how D..." he looked at the floor.

 “I don’t either. But there has to be a way. You’re an innocent man, Murdoc.” 2D paused.

Murdoc smiled. After everything, 2D still believed in him. "Well.. what you wanna do till 3?" He thought Stuart might need some help with all those bandages ‘cuz he couldn't appear that way to a magazine...

 “Maybe you can help me pick out my outfit and fix my wounds..? If that’s ok….” He told him.

"That's fine..." Murdoc promised he would help him. He stood up smiling to Stuart. "If you feel sick or anything just let me know.."

2D nodded. “I’ll let you know.” He told him standing up himself and began walking him to their room. 2D had opened his drawers, beginning to look at what to wear.

Murdoc sat on the bed where 2D was yesterday... when the singer was with his back turned to him he sniffed the blanket... there was something strange.. probably Ace's smell.. but he didn’t mind..  It still smelled as 2D and much better than any of the smells in prison.

 “What should I wear..? I have a lot to hide I guess” Dd said out loud to Murdoc taking him off his thoughts.

"Something long sleeved huh? A scarf...? Or you can use make up..." Murdoc didn’t really know what to do with that marks.

 “I have some foundation I think” he said in thought.

Murdoc looked other way... head full of thoughts... he was helping his boyfriend hide the marks another man did to him. That someway hurt... if he didn’t care he would let Stuart alone with that problem. He sighed.

2D got out the foundation, as well as a long sleeve button up. He also put his hair into a little pony tail, because he knew Murdoc liked it. He began applying the makeup.

"You're pretty good at that, Stuart..." Murdoc leaned closer by the door of the bathroom arms folded and a little smile. "No one is gonna notice" Murdoc couldn't help but find him adorable in a ponytail. He wanted to compliment but his heart was broken still.

 “I’ve uh.. Seen Noodle do it a few times.” He told him with a bit of a smile, shifting a little. “I hope no one notices. They’ll start making all kinds of rumors.”

"Yeah... you can’t say it was me... and I kinda wish it was.." he looked other way seeming sad. "You'll look fine."

2D looked to him through the mirror with a bit of a frown. “I wish you could come.. Maybe you can stay in our bus while we talk..?” He tried to change the subject.

"I can do that if it makes you happy. As long no one sees me." It was strange for Murdoc not allowed to appear with his own band.

 “That’s fine with me” he said with a little smile. “I would love to have you with me.”

"So I'll go." Seeing his face bright with a smile melted Murdoc's heart.

Murdoc thought Ace could tell something mean about what happened and assume that he's in his place now... he sighed going to change his clothes.

2D finished up his makeup, putting it all away as he moved to go put on some pants and shoes. He was having a hard time tying his shoes though. Still, it was something he couldn’t do very well. When Murdoc was gone he got Noodle to do it but now that he’s back he was hoping he wouldn’t mind.

"Want help with that D...?" Murdoc hesitantly asked. He put a leather coat black shirt and black jeans, his old boots.

2D nodded. “I would like some help...if you don’t mind.”

Murdoc kneeled. He missed even this tiny detail of their relationship... The fact 2D was forty but he couldn’t tie his shoelAces. "There you go." He said standing up.

 “I missed having you tie my shoelAces” he said softly maintaining some distance from him, with a gentle smile on his lips.

"I missed it too... I'm glad to be home, Stuart." he tried his best smile but still had his heart broken.

 “Please...call me Stu.” he told him pressing a soft kiss against his cheek before moving out of the way. He grabbed phone, moving to walk out the bedroom door. “I’ll let the others know you’re coming”

"Okay... Stu" he gently smiled.

 “Noodle and Russel will be thrilled.” he smiled moving to walk on out. He figured Murdoc needed a moment to himself anyway.

Murdoc sighed. Was just too much so assimilate.. The first day he was outta jail and already had compromises and needed to see how the band was doing without him. He sat on the bed and pressed his thumb and index finger against his eyes. Part of him needed Stuart close and another was trying to deal with the cheating.

 


	5. Tranz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where things start to get... strange.

It didn’t take long for them to all pile up into their bus. Ace decided to sit in the back, against a table, Russel sitting with him, talking. Just to straighten out some things. Noodle was sitting with 2D and Murdoc, making sure none of the windows were open so no one would see the bassist.

"Er... thanks Noodle... for stopping Ace." he gently smiled to the Japanese girl.

Noodle smiled small. “Oh It was nothing. I’d do it again for any of you.” She told him leaning against his shoulder, casually. Noodle learned how to appreciate physical contact from her bandmates.

2D was snuggling up on Murdoc’s other shoulder.

Murdoc closed his eyes "You're spoiling me.." he giggled, hugging both of them.

 “It’s no big deal.” Noodle hummed taking out her phone and holding it out in front of them with a smile. “Say cheese.”

D moves to smile, “cheese” he giggled always thinking that was such an odd phrase. Murdoc cracked a smile to the photo... He felt warm and safe with them. He put his hands on their hairs messing them. Noodle pinched his arm, just because he messed up her hair, not that she really minded.

The bus had come to a stop, 2D looking to Murdoc. “Can I have a good luck kiss...?” He asked softly.

Murdoc looked deep at his eyes already missing him. He kissed his forehead longingly "good luck, Stu" he gently smiled.

2D smiled to him, not really satisfied with that kiss, moving to stand. Noodle, Stuart and Russel walked out first, Ace behind them, flipping him off in the process.

Murdoc waited patiently the interview. From the bus he couldn't hear or see anything, so he tried to take a nap.

Their interview seemed to take a long time, which wasn’t too unusual especially after having a new album. Plus they were asked questions about Murdoc and his escaping. That they all tried they best to avoid talk about. Noodle was the first one to come back on the bus. She seemed upset as she was going to the back of it.

It took five minutes for the rest of them to return. Ace was now sitting with Noodle as 2D sat next to Murdoc once again, having a sandwich from set for him. Since he was going to take care of him too. “Wakey wakey”

Murdoc blinked twice and smiled "Thank you." he sat down from where he was laying "Was the interview good?" He looked from the distance to Noodle.. She seemed upset but he didn’t want to come near Ace so he decided to ask later.

2D moves to sit on his lap, a little too dare after all that happened, but Stuart seemed to be a lot more confident all of a sudden. “It was ok… I think one of the camera people pissed off Noods” 2Dsaid in a softer tone.

"How pissed off her?" Murdoc let Stuart sit on his lap and took the sandwich to himself. He frowned.

2D gave a bit of a shrug. “I don’t know. He didn’t even say anything to her as far as I could tell”.

Murdoc found that odd. He gently put Stuart’s legs aside and stood up to talk to her. He called her from where she was with Ace to another part of the bus "Why are you upset, Noods?"

Noodle sat down, crossing her legs giving him an innocent look. “Why would I be upset..?”

"Well I looked at your face when you arrived and 2D told me it was cuz of cameramen..." he looked at her. One raised brow. “Don’t lie to me, Noodle.”

Noodle was silent a moment. Debating on if she should tell him or not.

“He was there.”

"Who was there?" Murdoc was confused. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

 “El Mierda. He was there. The camera man.” Noodle told him. She wasn’t stupid, if anything she considered herself the smartest of the group. She knew more than she let on a lot of the time, not that anyone noticed.

Murdoc took a deep breath. "How...?" he swallowed again his anger... clenched teeth and an upset expression on his face. "That bloke ruined my life... he should be in prison all this time, not me."

 “I don’t know. But he was there. And he was. Watching us.” Noodle frowned. “Especially 2D, with a sinister grin.” She said with a bit of a sigh. “I tried to follow him but he disappeared before I could reach him.”

"Well I guess next interview he should appear again... We need to get him... and find a way to my liberty." he was nervous... Stuart, why would he be interested in Stuart? "I won’t let him touch a strand of his hair."

 “I don’t know. No one else noticed. You can’t do much, I need to find him to give him an ass kicking.” She muttered, glaring at the floor. She knew it was all this guy’s fault for everything that’s happened the past few months.

"Well you're the smartest and the best of us to kick asses... If you need help, please let me know... I'm old but I know how to punch still..." He smiled. "You did pretty much these days, don’t let this bother you too much." He tried to soothe things for her.

Noodle appreciated his kind words but it was still bugging her that out of everyone she saw him. It was like he was calling to her. They even connected their lock for a moment. She frowned “I’ll figure out something.” She told looking to him. She didn’t wanna see him fail again. None of them were as young as they once were, and that scared Noodle. Does she could handle it all all by herself?

"Please if you need anything, call me. You saved me, I owe you." Murdoc looked at her back, kissed her forehead and went back to Stuart and his sandwich.

2D was sitting, waiting. They didn’t see Noodle for the rest of the ride, as she didn’t move from where her and Murdoc talked.

Murdoc sat next to him thinking about lots of things, specially what Noodle had told him. He silently eat his sandwich absentmindedly.

 

 

Time passes... El Mierda is still free and following them in each interview, each step they take. Noodle is still pissed with that and Stuart’s behavior only seemed to get worse. But she still hasn’t any idea how to get him.

Murdoc noticed his lover was acting weird. He’s been trying to get closer his singer again but still no sex... and he noticed that 2D was a little upset ‘cuz of that. He was becoming needy and Murdoc was afraid he would look for another person, even Ace... just paranoid.

Murdoc had went into the hall a day, as 2D was getting ready for a music video. The band was about to record Tranz that day and the bassist was allowed to watch but once again he could’t appear. He had run into Noodle, but something was different. Her hair. It was… Orange? Or a bad blonde dye job? She just looked at him.

"Do I look good like this?" She smiled to the singer admiring her new hair.

 

"Hey Noods, your hair is so... orange.." Murdoc didn't know how to compliment her.

Noodle looked to him, seeming a bit down really. “Oh uh...thank you.”. She wasn’t acting normal too. And Murdoc thought that color didn’t fit her very well.

"Hey... Is there something wrong?" He held her by her shoulders.

She looked at him, her eyes widening just a bit. “Nothing’s wrong, no.”

"You seem a little down... " Murdoc knew she couldn’t lie to him.

 “No. Nothings wrong.” Noodle told him again, trying to get out of his grip. As she was a bit uncomfortable. Murdoc raised a brow noticing her avoidance.

"Okay.. I'll believe you... know where is Stuart?" he tried to stop pressing her.

 “Um.. Room.” She told him, her eyes glancing to the door down the hall.

"I'll check him..." He kissed her forehead going to where his singer was... She had seemed to flinch when he kissed her, taking a step back and wiping it.

"Hey" he said with a wide smile... "You look good." He told him about his clothes.

2D looked to him once he entered, “Oh thanks, of course I do.” He told him, buttoning his jeans.

Murdoc tried to get closer him, hugging him from behind... "I might get jealous this way, huh..?" He joked, knowing that he couldn’t appear at the video but Ace could.

2D hummed. “You might. I’d like to see you all jealous. Hot and bothered ‘cuz of me.” He told him, sounding a bit serious.

"What do you mean?" He frowned turning Stuart to look at his face. He never said something like that... actually he didn’t like when murdoc was jealous. His eyes shined differently.

 “I just think you’re cute when you’re jealous.” He told him, raising a brow almost smirking sly.

"Cute?" Now Murdoc raised a brow. "Okay then... I can be cute, if you ask me to..." If he found cute when Murdoc punched another blokes flirting with him, fine. "You are gorgeous.".

2D smiled. “I want you to always be cute for me, sweetie.” He told him moving to try and kiss him on the lips.

Murdoc pecked his lips and smiled, finding extremely odd that pet name, Stuart never called him nothing cuter than “Muds” or “love”. "Everyone is ready... think you should go... as fast as you finish recording we can be together.. And I can be.. cute" He laughed again, still thinking that him and cute on the same phrase just didn’t fit.

 “Aren’t you coming with us? I want you to be there.” 2D told, moving to slightly grope him.

"Well I can’t appear in it, but you want me to watch the recording..?" He asked still hugging his singer.

 “Maybe I do, handsome.” He hummed, moving to place a few kisses on his neck, “Wouldn’t you like that?” He spoke into his ear, suddenly getting flirtatious… Something he usually wansn’t.

"Sure.. I'd love to... always love to see you singing... even when I can’t be at the stage with you..." He hugged him tightly.

Stuart suddenly moved away, letting go of him and away from his grip, smiling to him. “Perfect.” He told him moving to grab his jacket.

Murdoc followed him. He didn’t like the way he was shoved. The bassist walked to the place where he was allowed to watch the recording, curious about it.

2D obviously had done it to Murdoc on purpose. He pushed his hand through his hair as he stood next to his band mates, looking at Noodle but she seemed to refuse to acknowledge him. He had a pissed off face and grabbed the microphone in a way that showed that he wasn’t in the mood to sing.

It looked like 2D was speaking to Ace for a moment or two, they laughed together about something and pointed to Murdoc. Ace was the only one who was really having a good time there, smiling and dancing. Murdoc wasn’t really close enough to hear them to well.

Murdoc raised a brow but didn’t care.. They were at the same band, it should de probably part of the clip, something that the producers might have asked... He just took a deep breath and kept watching.

Murdoc found odd as usually Stuart recorded smiling and enjoying it all, something was bothering him... But what? Noodle was kinda strange too.. All the recording was a little different from the previous ones, the regular ones Gorillaz recorded.

It took a while, before they finished, since they had to shoot from different angles and with all the effects and close ups for each of them, although their green screen seemed a bit tainted near the end, things getting a bit weird. Murdoc watched until the end... He wished he could take part into it... but unfortunately maybe in the next.

Noodle was the first off the get off the stage, 2D following after going up to where Murdoc was, immediately going to a kiss from him, as he was coming down from the high of ‘performing’. He pushed him into one of the dressing rooms to have a little more privacy.

Murdoc flinched but kissed him back, feeling the energy that came from him, electric and different... After shows or videos, they usually had their best make-ups and shags. Something about recording used to change Stuart’s behavior for better. Adrenaline, dopamine?

2D seemed to the dominant one as he was leading the kiss, pressing him up against the wall. He had been a bit pent up for a long while, letting his leg go between Murdoc’s, rubbing up against him, and cornering the bassist.

Murdoc moaned feeling his singer that close... he grabbed his ass in return to that knee pulling him close and deepened the kiss. 2D pressed closer, shoving his tongue into Murdoc’s mouth, needy and with purpose. He wanted him and wanted immediately.

Murdoc changed place with Stuart pressing him against the wall. He didn’t like the way he was in charge, he felt overwhelmed… And after so much time without sex, at least he should show him who was in charge. A hand grabbed his hipbone and the other rubbed gently his erection. He moved from his mouth to his neck, licking and biting it.

2D put his hand up into his hair, pulling a bit roughly, kissing rougher.

Murdoc noticed he was a little more aggressive than normal... anyway he enjoyed it moving to take off his shirt. And unbuckle his pants. 2D didn’t mind, shifting against him, roughly grinding up against Murdoc, purposeful as he was rock solid.

"Do you want me that much, Stu?" He teased licking his neck and scratching his back. "I think I can give you what you want...." he squeezed his nipple not very gently.

2D slightly groaned. “Please. Give it to me.” He asked sounding more demanding than begging, as he was usually, letting Murdoc do what he pleased without any struggling.

Mudoc took off his own shirt and looked into his own backpack.. He used to carry around some lube for emergency cases. He turned to Stuart.. They didn’t have any beds near. "If you want it so much, turn around and hands on the wall." he demanded, trying to sound a little more confident as Stuart act like he wanted much more than he could give him.

2D turned to move putting his hands down on the wall. He poked his ass out, “You’re bluffing” he teased but was completely ready for him. He had been craving his touch. His smile said it all. His bright eyes as well.

 

"Oh am I?" He took off his pants letting them fall to his ankles. He lubbed himself and leaned closer his singer. One hand he slapped his ass with another he grabbed his boner, squeezing it with his hand inside his boxers. His breath came into his ear "Let's see who's bluffing..." he snarl pulling his underwear down scratching his skin in the process.

2D had yelped but seemed excited by his behavior. “Oh please, go easy on me Muds~” Of course his tone was sarcastic; he was wanting to be ravished. Something inside him told he needed that, and Murdoc was available… He was so pent up he didn’t even care about pain.

Murdoc smiled hearing his tone... Stuart wasn’t like that normally but he enjoyed a lot even with a voice telling him he wasn’t normal. He just teased by hugging him close, a hand resting around his neck, ready to choke him... "Easy huh..?" His snake like tongue licked his earlobe. "What you want me to do..?" he whispered. His other hand managed to rub his own cock against his hole teasingly.

2D slightly whined, trying to arc back against him. “Mmm I want you to make me your bitch.” he whispered completely lustful. Normally 2D wouldn’t dare say something like that, liked dirty talking but when Murdoc did it… He was much “politer” in bed. But he was over taken with lust and something deep within him.

Murdoc's cock throbbed... he began pushing it inside him... "My bitch huh..? I liked that." he growled satisfied feeling his cock entering his singer. Yes he liked the idea… But it just didn’t fit his singer. "Fuck I missed this..." he grabbed his waist making him go a little down to make his ass a little more opened. He slapped it once again and pulled his hair entering full into Stuart.

2D gasped, moaning as he was in heaven just by feeling him all the way in. His face was red as he was trying to glance back at him, with that sinister grin across his face.

Murdoc once buried into him began thrusting fast and hard as he asked... he grabbed his hips digging his nails there. He also choked him once he could manage to thrust him without support. Murdoc was in heaven as well inside his singer... he kissed and bite anywhere he could on his back. Loving to hear his moan... "You're. . Mine ... “He said between pants.

2D was being loud, moaning his name, sweating and panting, ad he wanted everyone to hear… Ace in special. “Fuck I’m yours!” He dug his nails into the wall.

"That's what you wanted huh? Be my bitch...?" Murdoc again slapped his ass this time harder while he thrusted him without mercy. His other hand pressed his face against the wall. "I'll teach not to fool me again." He clenched his teeth and didn’t stop. He was so lustful he couldn’t help ravishing him.

2D was drooling, his speech incoherent as he wasn’t making sense just moaning to the top of his lung while making noises. He was feeling full ecstasy. He really was Murdoc’s bitch. He was fucking him almost senseless, as his soul seemed to try to escape from his body.

Murdoc grabbed his leg and lifted it up, being able to go even deeper and harder. Their bodies were slamming against the wall and Murdoc could swear he saw tears in his singer’s eyes. He squeezed his thigh roughly "I want to see you cum."

2D was already so close, he was edging himself on purpose, and his face was completely red just in pure bliss. “Murdoc fuck…” he groaned loudly as his legs were trembling in Murdoc’d grip.

With some more thrusts Murdoc came into him, almost collapsing. Maybe he was too old for that. He buried himself into his singer deeper he could and bit his neck, leaving a mark there. He pulled his hair roughly "Never do it again and you'll never lose this." He grabbed his cock squeezing it in a steady pAce, his leg still in the air.

2D came moments later, hard, his whole body spasming, as he was taking shakily breaths just twitching up against him. “H-holy fuck, your son of… ah…” he looked like was gonna pass out from how good of an orgasm it was.

Murdoc gently got outta him heavily panting and sweating. Stuart almost cursed… That was definitely something he wouldn’t do normally. He put his leg back on the floor. And hugged him tightly from behind suddenly getting too emotional again.

2D seemed a wreck, as he was just focusing on his breathing, feeling Murdoc’s cum running out of him and down his leg slowly, not returning the hug at all.

"Are you okay..?" Murdoc silently asked, concern in his voice, thinking if he had hurt his singer.

 “Yes” he said softly “It was… good” his voice cracked as he smiled back at him lazily, as if it wasn’t what he was expecting.

Murdoc smiled back. "I missed this." he whispered...

 “I miss this more than I thought” Stuart mumbled biting his lip.

"I'm sorry..." he turned his singer to face him... something inside him didn’t feel right, he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened between him and Ace, and that… That the man in front of him wasn’t his Stuart... Lust left him and he had to face the truth.

 “What’s wrong, darling?” 2D asked shifting and looking at him caressing his cheek, as if he cared.

"Nothing D..." He left him alone for a moment putting his pants back. "W-want help with that...?" He noticed cum oozing from him. "I can get a towel or something?" He tried to change the subject.

 “No, leave it. It’s… hot” Stuart said with a smile, shifting as he kissed down his neck. Murdoc knew how his singer was about cleaning… That wasn’t right.

Murdoc nodded watching his body and flushing. Stuart was stunning for the bassist. "Would you... mind if I have some time on my own?" he asked hesitantly. There was a balcony nearby.

 “Not at all.” 2D smiled. “Thank you.”

Another two things he wouldn’t do. Let him free after sex, without cuddling or asking what was wrong… He seemed that he even noticed Murdoc looked upset. Like he just wanted to shag and after, go away. He didn’t need to thank him too, as long as they were together. Stuart just turned around looking for his own clothes not bothering if Murdoc was really leaving or not.


	6. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where everyone wants to drive Murdoc mad.

Murdoc sighed. He went out that room and grabbed a bottle of whiskey in the mini fridge there was outside. He went to the balcony to smoke and drink. He didn’t want to get drunk... He just wanted to force himself to forget, but the truth was that he was scared of it happening again...

He couldn’t go outside and Ace could... certainly was easier for Stuart to choose him... as much as he drank he drowned into this depressing thoughts. Stuart was so confident those days even in sex... this scared Murdoc too. He felt like he could be dumped anytime. He stood there silently fighting alone with his inner demons, drinking and smoking.

Noodle had walked up next to him, approaching. “What were you doing? We all heard you and 2D. Learn to be quiet.” She said in a low annoyed tone.

 

"Sorry Noods, I’m not loud. He is." Murdoc giggled. "Just needed some time for me, that's all... and you could guess what we were doing, I wasn’t hitting him, for sure."

 “I know. You were having sex...” She sighed “I wouldn’t have if I was you. “Noodle told him, her hair in her face.

"What do you mean ... I shouldn’t have had sex with Stu?" He frowned looking at her.

 “Something’s wrong with him.” She said in a slight mumble.

"Wrong...? Like what...?" he took another sip "He came to me this time... I just... gave him what he wanted..." Murdoc noticed something was wrong, but his afterglow made him forget about it for a second. Maybe Noodle knew more than him.

 “He’s going crazy. He’s not the same 2D.” Noodle muttered. “He... Hit me.” She mumbled.

Murdoc's eyes widened. "He did what?” He grabbed her by her shoulders 'Why didn’t you tell me before..?" He frowned not believing her words.

Noodle flinched with her visible eye widened. “I… Couldn’t tell you. He was going to hit me again.”

"Did he threat you? Why did he hit you?" he asked still not believing... He felt ready to beat Stuart till he begged for mercy.

Noodle shifted in his grip. “I uh.. I don’t know.” She didn’t know the answer exactly. She just knew she was hit and it was the final straw. 2D was becoming too cocky.

Murdoc sighed. "I can’t let him do whatever he wants, Noodle..." he closed his eyes once again and let her shoulders free. He took the last sip finishing the bottle. "He crossed a line hitting you."

 “It...Made me cry.” Noodle mumbled knowing that she rarely ever cried, Murdoc found that odd.. She became too emotional all of a sudden.

He didn't know what to do so he leaned closer and hugged her. He knew his daughter never cried. He felt anger boil into his veins, alcohol making him like that. 'Sweet Satan Noods... you should have told me earlier...I didn’t know..."

Noodle flinched just a bit, biting her lip. She didn’t lean into him. “I didn’t want you to fight.”

Murdoc sighed. "I know..." She wanted to protect her brother as long as she could. "I promise I won’t fight with D okay...? But I got to do something. I can’t let you get hit... he needs help." he let her go, feeling that she wasn’t comfortable with his hug.

 “I... am doing something about it. Don’t worry..” she told him glancing away from him.

"Something, like...?" he frowned. "What? And this time don’t hide it from me, I just wanna help."

 “You can’t help me..” she said softly. “I..it’s too late..” She had a strange smile on her face, like she was happy ‘cuz it was too late.

"What you mean it's too late Noods... He's my... " the tone she used made Murdoc shiver "There must be something we can do, we can’t loose him." He felt his heart breaking thinking about loosing his singer.

Noodle stared him a moment looking uncomfortable by his tone. She took her hand, pushing up her bangs to reveal a bullet hole on her forehead Murdoc would know anywhere.

Murdoc was speechless ... the only one who had a bullet hole was the... "Cyborg...?" Was he seeing right or was it alcohol? “You gotta be kidding me… Is it really you?”

Noodle was silent a moment, nodding. She couldn’t say what he wanted to hear. She knew she was only suppose to follow orders.

"Okay, now I bloody need an explanation or I’m gonna blame what I’m seeing on the alcohol." Murdoc folded his arms.

Cyborg was silent a moment like she was stalling. “Noodle left last night to hunt El Mierda.. she thinks he’s possessing 2D. And that’s why I am here.”

"Now I understood why she was acting so odd, wasn’t her… So you're a replacement...? Sorry for hugging you, I thought you were her." he sighed "I hope she’s right.. so we can save him." he thought for a moment "He hit you or Noodle?"

 “He hit her. She had a black eye. I wasn’t allowed to tell you but. You’re so… Pathetic..” she frowned.

“Pathetic? Me? Why?" He frowned back, how she dared...? If it was another times, he would hit her and break her head. "Just ‘cuz I care about her?" He decided to keep the talk in a good balance so she could tell him some information about Noodle.

 “Care? Stuart’s been possessed and you just fucked him loud enough all of us heard..  It’s.. Embarrassing and wrong. What the hell had happened to you..?” She asked narrowing her eyes just a little.

"I didn't know about that for Satan’s sake..." he frowned "I... just missed him. So bad... I couldn’t hold back myself... He is still my... boyfriend" he said the last part whispering, not really knowing who was Stuart anymore. "Right I fucked it all up okay? Are you happy now? He came to me and I couldn’t say no ‘cuz I’m sodding weak.". Now he really regretted what he had done. He felt dirty even like he had taken advantages of his singer’s state.

 “ _He’s turning into you_. Noodle.. She wasn’t so good she left.” She said a bit softer.

"What do you mean turning into me?" how could this be possible? "Stuart is the most kind hearted, naive and good person I’ve ever met, no way he could turn into a piece of rubbish like me..."

 “You were cocky. Abusive. Fame hungry and look at 2D now. He doesn’t even smile anymore. _Just like you were before_.” Her words stung like a bee sting.

Murdoc thought for a moment. "You’re right. He’s turning into me..." he looked a bit sad. He couldn’t even remember what was the last time he saw Stuart smiling, genuinely, not lustful or daring.

 “He isn’t as innocent as you paint him out to be. He hurt Noodle. She was shocked. That’s why she left. She wants her family back.” She frowned and folded her arms.

"Noodle is really amazing..." He sighed. "I wish I could help her.. But she always do everything on her own, the way she wants" He giggled sadly.

 “Cause she’s like you. Determined. She doesn’t want to live like this anymore. She can’t.”

"She could have asked for help. I know she's capable... I made you thinking about her... but I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happens to her. She's took me off prison..." he sighed.

 “I was just assigned to be in her place. She’s far long gone, and I don’t think she’ll make it back.”

Murdoc closed his eyes and let Cyborg speak alone. Now he know her secret. But his heart broke thinking he might lose his singer _and_ his daughter. He turned his back going anywhere but there. "Please leave me alone."

“Why? So you can drink yourself to death?” She laughed. “Wow. You really haven’t changed at all since _Plastic Beach_. I can’t believe she talks so highly of you.”

Murdoc smiled. "Yeah." there wasn’t anything he could do. If he met Stuart he would yell and hit him probably, as angry as that piece of metal was making him. Noodle was already gone... "I already drank cyborg, I just want to be alone." he placed his bottle aside. "Everyone is better than me, get used to it."

 “You don’t have to tell me twice. Noodle will be disappointed.” She rolled her eyes, fixing her bangs.

"Well what do you suggest me to do then?" he looked back at her, frowning. "She gave you orders didn’t she? What can I do now?"

 “Fine. Don’t do the right thing. You’re still useless.” She spit the words angrily.

"Sod off your piece of metal, I don’t know what the right thing is. I can’t do anything now can I?" He snarl back at her.

 “Oh you can but you won’t. ‘Cuz you’re too weak for that” Cyborg smiled. “You never do. You’re going to let Moodle- a girl who is much younger than you, fight your damn battles for you, alone. You’re an old bastard.”

"Are you suggesting me to go there find Noodle and leave Stuart here alone doing the fuck he wants ? I can get arrested again your dumbass.. I'm not bloody legally free. And I wont involve anyone more into my shit"

“Oh I’m the dumbass? Who cares if you’re not free! Isn’t your family fucking important?”

Murdoc really got annoyed. "Fine! Are you gonna take care of Stuart while I'm out?" He was really concerned about his singer.

 “No? Do I look like a baby sitter?” She raised a brow smiling.

He grabbed her by the collar "Your sodding piece of crap. I'll leave. I'll find my daughter. And you'll be right here taking care of him or I'll shut you down forever, got that? I created you, I can destroy you too." He smiled devilishly.

 “What makes you think I won’t leave the moment you’re gone? Hm? Who are you going to have watch me? Ace? Ace loves Noodle. I’m pretty sure they’ve kissed.”. She was just trying to piss him off

Murdoc let her free with a confused glance. What the hell did Ace has to do with all that? He was getting mad. "Fine I'll go alone." Murdoc thought about asking Russ if he could help taking care of his singer. But he wouldn't tell the cyborg. She will use this information against him.

 “Yea, I’m sure he’d love to fuck Noodle like he did 2D. Too bad she’s not here, because of you. It’s always you isn’t it?” She smirked teasing him even more.

He felt his heart ache. She was playing really low... he leaned closer her fighting against his angry painful tears.

 “What are you going to do? Dismantle me? You’ll loose no matter what you do don’t you see that?”

Murdoc leaned closer and pressed a button on the back of her head that shut the cyborg down. He grabbed his dead body. He wasn’t gonna destroy her... just put her aside... the bassist couldn't go on hearing those words. He would get crazy as 2D got... and wouldn't be able to help him.

As Murdoc decided to leave, at night he wanted to say goodbye. The bassist would leave next morning to find Noodle and help her.

2D was sitting in a chair into their bedroom putting his hair up as he was changed into one of Murdoc’s old shirts. If he wasn’t so tall and skinny and blue haired you could swear it was Murdoc himself there. Russel was out in a bar together with Ace, Cyborg was charging.

Murdoc leaned closer.  "Hey" he tried his best to smile. Stuart looked really different .. looked like him. He swallowed hard.

 “Hey love..” Stuart looked at him. Eyes totally brilliant white.

"Hey…” He felt his heart tighten… "You know I would do anything for you... don’t you?" Murdoc didn’t know very well how to begin talking with Stuart. He would leave the next day… But didn’t know how to tell him why.

“Why wouldn’t you? I’m great” 2D smiled winking just playfully but he was full of courage.

"Yeah you are..." God did he sound like that..? Treated everyone around like Stuart was treating him? "I just wanted to say that... no matter what... all that I'm going to do... is to make you happy, and safe... okay? Even if you don’t understand sometimes... or even if we're not together anymore..."

Murdoc saw a slight flick in his face. It showed actual concern. “Are you breaking up with me..?” He asked softly.

"No... I'm not. We're together. I promised." He placed his both hand on his shoulders.  "I just... need to figure out something first... and I need you to trust me, for some time... till I come back". He sighed.

“You can’t leave. You’re wanted.” he paused standing up. “Don’t you wanna be safe..?”

" I want you safe. More than myself" Murdoc was smiling, but his heart was shattering seeing those bright white eyes.

“I want you safe Murdoc, you’re my boyfriend. Without you I have no one.” he told him sounding a bit emotional and blackmailer.

"I know that...." He squeezed the hands on his shoulders "You'll just need to trust me okay?" Murdoc was already missing his singer, his old lovely-dovely Stu pot, that he fell in love with.

“Fine... I trust you Murdoc, but… I do want something from you…  Mu’doc... Something that’s not sex.” It wasn’t much, but it was all 2D could ask for, even if he wanted a quick shag once again. And didn’t even care why he was leaving in the first place.

 “Just,” he said, moving himself to lay on their bed. “Lay with me for the night. Cuddle me. Don’t let me go...” It was going to be hard in the morning for Murdoc, seeing Stuart still there and he needed to leave. But at least he knew he could fall asleep in his arms tonight.

Murdoc nodded. "I can do that for you." he said softly. "You... like to be with me beyond sex rite?" He hesitantly asked laying down next to the singer. "Cuz I know how needy you are Stu... and I'm not here only ‘cuz of sex you know..?" As Stuart shagged Ace when he was gone now his self-confidence was in the lowest levels. He felt used and dirty. He saw those bruises on his pale skin and froze in place. Those things were living nightmares for Murdoc. He sighed overthinking again. This usually happened when Stuart was under influence; it made Murdoc weaker and more emotional someway.

"I mean.. I think I can be the man for you... y'know. ..? Treat you well and..." he blushed... "I’m sorry.. I'm just scared." Scared Stuart would use again a replacement for him when he felt lonely, like tomorrow when he would leave.

Stuart grunted lightly, narrowing his eyes at the bassist. “You really think I’m just here for sex?” He asked, feeling very offended. Though, it was understandable as to why Murdoc thought so — 2D had no right to get angry about it.

With that, the singer turned away and rolled over, facing his back to the bass player. Whenever he got angry, it seemed as though El Mierda took over his soul — it was when Stuart was the easiest to influence.

“And by needy you’re calling me a whore, isn’t it?” Stuart added, growling under his breath. He hated being called that — particularly because he _was_ one.

 

 

Murdoc sighed. He wasn’t acting as himself once again. "Good night Stu.." he whispered turning himself to the other side so they were back against back. And not even touching themselves. He definitely needed to help Stuart... his boy was a mess!

He wouldn't cry but felt terribly empty and lost. He almost lost the courage to save him for a moment. He took another deep breath and put a hand against his head, caressing his hair, pretending it was Stuart. He didn’t say anything to make him angry.. and he ruined their farewell.

"I just... don’t think I can touch anyone besides you, you know? ‘Cuz... you're the man I love... I wanna have sex just with you and... even if I'm lonely ... I wouldn't dare to touch anyone besides you... It wasn’t just the fact I was in prison… I just... wanted you to know that. Cuz you are you... and I love you." he said in a low defeated sad tone.

Stuart sighed heavily, closing his eyes for a brief moment before turning over and putting an arm around the bass player. He didn’t say anything, because Murdoc was right. Stuart should have waited, no matter how desperate he was.

The singer didn’t want their farewell to be like this. He wanted it to finish with them being happy together... He was beginning to think that their relationship was pretty toxic.

Murdoc sighed as well. The Satanist was just too tired. He put gently a hand on the singer's. He caressed it with his fingertips trying to memorize how it felt... he was gonna miss Stuart... he knew that. He was scared he wouldn't make it and didn’t know how long he would be out... "I just want you to be happy. With or without me I wish your happiness, Bluebird. With all my heart." he said all honestly. "I'll miss you." He whispered... tired of fighting.

He went a bit back to touch his singers body whole... warm... the real him, not that thing El Mierda created. His heart twisted in pain... What if Stuart, his boy, never comes back? His mind played with anxiety. He felt panic beginning.. He started to pant. Silently. Closing his eyes shut. His shoulders going up and down once more as he curled into a ball. What if he would treat him bad and cheat on him again? And there was no way to undo it? He felt dread with this thoughts

2D smiled gently as Murdoc caressed his hand and scooted back to touch bodies. He loved the feeling of him and his warmth.

“Shh...” Stuart quietly hushed the bassist and propped himself up, resting onto his forearm as he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on Murdoc’s cheek. He didn’t really wanna hear his rants. “I love you. I love you so much...” 2D added, pressing another kiss on his jawline before pecking his neck gently. “I’ll miss yeou more. I’ll miss you so bloody much... I might even dream ‘bout you Muds... and I think ‘bout you all the time...” Stuart carefully nuzzled his face into Murdoc’s shoulder. Clearly wanting something more.

Murdoc felt shivers down his spine... and calmed a bit... "I know." he said enjoying his kisses and love... that was all he wanted to hear. Was impressive how Stuart went from anger to love in a blink of an eye... "You know I'm leaving to protect you right...? You know I would do anything to protect you..." he opened his eyes "You're my guardian angel Stu... but I feel like I could die for you ... you know... anything to save you..." he confessed, his heart racing. He gently managed his hand to his chest.. "See how I feel? It didn’t change, Bluebird... and never will.." He gently smiled to himself.

“Mhm...” the singer hummed, feeling Murdoc’s heart beating. It was like everything else the bassist said was blocked out. 2D was surely still under the influence, there was nothing different about that; it was clear by his white eyes.

“Mu’doc,” 2D spoke lowly, removing his hand from Murdoc’s chest and reaching down to rub his torso. “Do you think you could forgive me soon?” The singer went on to fiddle with the man’s belt as he pressed another kiss into his neck — he even nipped gently at his skin. It might have been obvious what the bluenette was doing, but it wasn’t his fault. Or was it? He wasn’t sure what was El Mierda’s or his own actions anymore.

"I don’t know." Murdoc said annoyed with his actions. The Satanist was putting his heart into that words and Stuart _didn’t even care_! It seemed he didn’t even listened to what he said.

 "Just go to sleep, okay?" He moved his hand from his belt frowning. Murdoc was scared he could make Stuart angry... They already had sex previously….The bassist felt Stuart wanted to do something else by seducing him.

“Oh c’mon Muds...” the singer kissed his shoulder over his shirt and replaced his hand on his belt. “Don’t you wanna have some fun?”

2D was all for sex, but right now he usually wouldn’t do this... It was obvious it weren’t really him, they had already sex... But, then again, after he cheated on Murdoc with Ace just for a quick shag then how could the bassist tell?

Murdoc got angry. Really angry. "You told me you want some cuddle and lay down Stuart. What the fuck is wrong with you?" He asked almost yelling and turning to face his singer "One time you're angry, next you're needy, the other lovely... you're fucking with my head Stuart... can’t you bloody decide yourself?!" He sat down "I want _my Stuart back_... _I need him back_!" He yelled to himself. " I shouldn’t have come here to help you Stuart... you're a mess.. You even don’t know what the hell you want from me!". All that was driving Murdoc insane. He threw a fist against the mattress. He was really angry but he wouldn't hit Stuart.

As soon as Murdoc began yelling, cursing Stuart out and punching the mattress, the singer began to smirk slightly and sinisterly. This was what El Mierda _wanted_.

“Ooo...” the singer scooted a little closer to the angry-raged Murdoc. “I like a man who’s angry. You’re going to hit me, Muds? I bet you want to...” 2D teased him, trying to wind him up all the more. “Tell you what, Mu’doc... I like to be marked, you know? Just look at the bruises on my neck-“ he tilted his head to the side, revealing more of it to the bassist. “Makes you angry, huh? I like that.” It was true as day that Stuart wasn’t himself, and Murdoc was right to yell and say he wanted his Stuart back.

Murdoc stood up and took a step back... now he was scared of the and in front of him... he missed old Stu pot... "I-I won’t hit you Stuart. I can’t.. you're my boyfriend right...?" He said with a scared tone. _He wanted to hit El Mierda_. He couldn't dare to touch a finger on Stuart. But the Demon wanted him to believe he was in front of him and hit 2D till death.

His eyes widened seeing how Stuart was looking at him. He wasn’t the real one. He couldn't be ..

“Don’t be boring Mu’doc!” 2D yelled at him, beginning to roll his white eyes in annoyance. “C’mon! Just like old times. Hit me. I dare you, you old goth.” The singer continued to tease and wind him up.

Stuart even crawled closer to Murdoc as he backed away, grinning brightly. El Mierda was causing a lot of trouble and stress between the two, but that’s how he gained his power.

Murdoc took other steps back until he reached the front door. He was terrified. "I won’t hit you Stuart. Not now, not ever." He narrowed his eyes frowning "GIVE ME STUART BACK!" he yelled in the top of his lungs, shaking and panting. Tears from fear dared to leave his eyes.

With that, the singer stood up from the bed and approached him, quickly smacking Murdoc across the face, hard. He chuckled lightly as he did it, and then put his guard down to keep himself open. “Go on. Your turn,” 2D smiled, waiting for Murdoc to hit him back. He didn’t react to Murdoc yelling that he wanted Stuart back, because he knew that was what the bassist wanted, and he wasn’t going to give in to that.

“Unless... God, what was I thinking?” Stuart laughed again, his voice was different. “You’re too weak to hit me. I’ll just go ask Ace if he’ll hit me instead, huh? Maybe I’ll ask him for another quick shag too. He fucks me waaaay better than you ever did anyways Mu’doc.”

Those words hurt even more than his smack. He swallowed the giant lump in his throat. Pressed his back against the wall cornered... he didn’t have anywhere to go. "Take me instead... take my rotten soul instead of his... please I beg you leave Stuart alone" he said in a final whisper... how could he go away the next day if Stuart was that way? He couldn't leave him like he was. Completely outta control!

Stuart chuckled again and shook his head slowly before resting his hands on his hips. “You don’t have a soul, you filthy liar,” 2D smirked. “But, if you won’t hit me, that’s fine Muds. I’ll be on me way then, finding Ace and asking him instead. Can’t wait to have his much bigger than yours cock back inside me. Mmm...” the singer turned away from him and began walking towards the door happily.

He was right... Murdoc didn’t have a soul to offer. He sighed "Fine." His shoulders went back to his normal position and he bowed his head. "You go to Ace. I'm leaving." He went through the door. "Goodbye Stuart." He whispered going to find Russel to ask him for help before leaving a bit earlier. Before it he took one last look at his singers face. "I'll bring you back... if it costs my life." He whispered to himself.

It was pointless fighting with him. He would end hitting Stuart or worse, realizing what El Mierda wanted... those words would hunt him for life. He knew it wasn’t him. But hurt the same.

Stuart just stared blankly at the bass player. He was furious that he didn’t hit him. After everything, that the singer had said and teased him about, he was sure Murdoc would crack and give him a good whack.

“Psh..” 2D rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as Murdoc said he would bring him back. El Mierda wasn’t having that. “You’re a weak looser… I’ll choose Ace the moment you leave you tosser.”

Murdoc smiled. "I love you." he finally said. He wouldn't give what el Mierda wanted at all. Tears pooled into his eyes and he turned not to show him... he would laugh at his pain.

"You can even hit me... break my bones. But I won’t hit Stuart" he said to no one.


	7. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where things change.

It had been several days since 2D was hospitalized due to his recent trauma and the hallucinations that came along with it. It was obvious now that Noodle and Murdoc succeeded on their hunt for El Mierda, and that Russel took care of him while they were gone.

The loss of power within Stuart’s body was taking a toll on him. However, with the last bit of gathering, El Mierda decided to do something so terribly evil with the few parts of energy left: He wiped away 2D’s memory, leaving him a blank sheet of paper. He couldn’t remember the band, his fame, or his feelings for Murdoc. He couldn’t even remember his own damn name, never mind his past. Though, before Noodle and Murdoc got back from their journey, Ace had already done the deed.

He’d kindly paid the singer a visit and told him all about the band and his life. However, he purposely ‘forgot’ to mention about Murdoc. Instead, Ace told the bluenette everything he needed to know, about _him._ He made himself out to be Murdoc, so when 2D saw the Satanist, he’d question on who he was and if he was even part of the band. The bastard even lied to Stuart and told him that _he_ was his boyfriend, not the other green-man. Ace was rude and cunning like that.

Murdoc went to visit Stuart in hospital once he was able. He didn’t know about Ace's previous visit and nothing that they talked about. He just wanted to see if his eyes were black once again and he had come to normal after all his efforts. He was really hurt inside and outside but he didn’t mind. He almost run towards Stuart "Hey love..." he dared to say seeing his black lovely orbs. The bassist grabbed his hand "How are you feeling?” He hesitantly asked.

At first, the blue boy didn’t know if Murdoc was talking to him. He glanced around, looking for anyone else in the hospital that he could be talking to, but as soon as the bassist grabbed ahold of his hand, Stuart knew he was talking to him. But why? He didn’t know that man, did he?

The singer quickly pulled his hand back, furrowing his thick brows in confusion as he gazed at the Satanist with his blacked-out eyes. “Who... Who are you?” He hesitated to ask, giving him another glance of awkwardness. It was clear the bluenette was feeling a little uncomfortable, being touched like that by a stranger.

“W-w-what you mean who am I... your boyfriend don’t you remember?" Murdoc’s eyes widened. God he was tired, was he hearing right? He put his hands against his chest and sat down in his place a little far from 2D.

Stuart slowly scooted away on the bed, being weary of the man. He was a strange one, acting as though he knew the singer. But, Ace did say how they were famous and such, so 2D played it off as if he knew him... sorta.

“Oh, right...” he spoke slowly, not really making eye-contact with him. “You must be a fan, isn’t it?”

"Actually no. Fans aren’t allowed here... I checked it. You're not in a good state to see any fans" he frowned "I'm your boyfriend, don’t remember me? And by the way I'm the bass player... of our band, _Gorillaz_." Jeez would he need to tell him what his name was? That was really odd, 2D didn’t remember anything

After hearing his explanation, Stuart snorted in laughter. “You’re right,” he shook his head slightly, looking around for any guards or such people to escort this crazy fan out. “You’re not me boyfriend, mate. I don’t even know who you are... Ace _is my boyfriend_. But you should know that, since you’re such a hardcore fan that you’d sneak in here to see me.”

Murdoc furrowed even harder "Ace huh...? Right…" Murdoc couldn't believe what he was hearing but he wouldn’t freak out, that would just scare Stuart even more. "Ace lied to you." He said in a low tone. "I just don’t understand why you believed him." His heart sunk. Was Ace really capable of that?

Now Murdoc understood his singer forget about everything... he wish he could forget too. He needed a drink. His life was falling apart once more... _Stuart had lost his memory_. And Murdoc wanted to be dead. After all he had done… he had suffered, risked his life… His singer didn’t remember him.

"Murdoc. I’m Murdoc. Does this name mean anything to you?" He dared to ask hesitantly.

The vocalist glanced at the green-man again, a little more confused this time. So, he wasn’t just a crazy fan... He was someone that Stuart knew previously. But, who? Murdoc, did he say?

2D shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head slowly at the bassist. “Doesn’t ring a bell...” he replied, letting his fractured eyes look Murdoc up and down. “... Should it?”

"Kinda should.." Murdoc said in a low tone. "Would you mind telling me what Ace told you? Please?" He tried to chose the best and most polite words to ask him about what had happened... just because Ace came first to talk to him, doesn't mean that he was telling the truth. Maybe Stuart believed in him this time... as he went back to normal.

“Ace told me that I’m part of this band called Gorillaz. I’m the singer, you know? The frontman! Along with Noodle, our guitarist... and Russel, our drummer. Me and Ace have been dating a while now. Ever since 2005 he said. It was when we first hooked up.” 2D was actually describing when he and Murdoc first started hooking up, at Kong Studio’s phase.

“But then afterwards we broke up ‘cause Ace was trying to push me away by being mean... that was when we lived  together on this island called _Plastic Beach_. But me and Ace have been with each other from the very beginning. You know, back in 2001 when the band first started. He’s our bassist...” Stuart wasn’t sure if he was giving the strange man standing before him enough information, but by the looks of Murdoc’s face, he seemed to have understood more than enough.

Murdoc's face got sadder and sadder. "Oh I see..." he tried to smile... Ace took his place in Stuart's head. And he pretty knew many details of their life the bassist didn’t know about. "Well... I have a different view of all this story... but I guess you just believed in what he said didn’t you...?" He shifted in place nervously.

Stuart kept his gaze on the bass player for a moment, before facing forwards and repositioning himself on the hospital bed. “Well, everything he said made sense... Oh- wait. Murdoc, did you say, right? Ace did say something ‘bout yew. I remember now...” the singer brought his eyes back to him and groaned slightly.

"What did he say about me?" His tone was neutral. He was scared of course.. but didn’t showed his singer.

“That you’d try to change my mind. That yew were nothing but a drunken old sod who used to treat me like rubbish... You know, ‘cause of your bad temper.” 2D tried to brush it off like it was nothing, but he couldn’t help but show his discomfort around the bass player now. “Ace said you’d visit now and then, so I’d see you often. But he told me to keep away from you.”

Murdoc swallowed hard. "And will you do what he told you?" He asked hesitantly. Actually Murdoc was trying to understand all that happened, Ace was really clever… He thought about everything that could have happened… Murdoc couldn’t come earlier to se him.. so his replacement took place and lied about everything he could.

“Well, I’m gonna have to, isn’t?” 2D said, looking the man up and down again. “Gotta respect for my boyfriend...”

Just as Stuart said it, Ace came walking into the hospital room without a care in the world. He noticed Murdoc standing at the side of Stuart’s bed and crooked up a smile in the corner of his lips, satisfied to see his desperate face.

He reached the opposite side of the bed, facing Murdoc with that same grin before he bent down slightly and puckered his lips to Stuart. “Give me a kiss, blue boy,” Ace basically ordered it, to which 2D propped himself up slightly and pecked his lips awkwardly as he didn’t feel anything toward Ace.

Ace knew how to get under Murdoc’s skin. All he had to do was use and abuse his boy-toy. He enjoyed riling the Satanist up. He liked getting a reaction out of him. “What did I tell you about speaking to this horrible man, Stu-Pot?” Ace glared down at him menacingly.

Stuart quickly shook his head and opened his mouth to reply, but Ace had already interrupted with his own words: “I told you to stay away from his pickle ass. Didn’t I? And what did you do?” Ace narrowed his eyes, ready to hit Stuart or curse him.

 

“I disobeyed...” Stuart slowly bowed his head, sounding disappointed in himself. It was as though Ace had 2D wrapped around his finger — in-fact, he did! And Ace knew Murdoc wouldn’t like that.

Murdoc looked to the 2 man in front of him... he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Stuart was almost Ace’s slave. But what could he do? Hit Ace in front of 2D? Yell that he’s a liar? Watch both of them kissing...? Murdoc couldn't stand any of this. He was defeated. But Stuart was fine that was what mattered.

"Sorry. I was about to leave." He gave a last look into Stuart’s eyes. "I'm glad to know you're well.. and safe. _Bluebird_ " the last word he whispered just to himself... like a goodbye. He promised he would save Stuart even if they weren't together anymore, and he kept his promise. "My best for you and your.... boyfriend." He spit the last word with anger. He _needed_ to leave. He felt like passing out any moment, from hunger, from pain, everything. He needed to deal with the fact he was alone again.. Maybe this time there was no turning back.

At the end El Mierda really won.

He thought Ace would punish him for disobeying or something. Did he really like to be hit, to be yelled and mistreated? Was it really Stuart or some rest of El Mierda’s influence? Well now it wasn’t his problem. All that hurt Murdoc was the fact he knew Stuart would get hit… And he couldn’t do anything to prevent that. When 2D asked, no _begged_ , to be punched he didn’t touch him... and he did right.

Ace smirked seeing Murdoc so down at the dumps. Just before the Satanist could leave, the green-man grabbed ahold of his arm and yanked him back besides the bed. He slithered his arm around Murdoc’s shoulders and patted his chest with his free hand, cackling. “Don’t look so sad, pickle,” Ace loves to tease him about that. Even though the man was green himself, he was known for other things with different nicknames. “You were Stuart’s best mate, after all. Why leave?” Ace brought that up so Stuart would want to spend more time with Murdoc, considering they were ‘best mates.’

2D quickly raised his brows and smiled a bright and gummy smile. “You were my best mate?” He asked, sounding happy. Ace didn’t like that. So the temporary bassist hissed at him to which 2D’s smile slowly faded away.

"Yeah... I was." He said not trying to get outta Ace's hold. "If you want, Stuart, I can still be." he looked at 2D smiling. Ignoring Ace. "I can stay here a bit longer If Ace leaves.. I mean... he's your boyfriend I don’t want to interrupt this moment of you." He said almost puking but hoping Stuart would ask Ace to go out and he could at least stay with him some more time before going home and drinking to death.

Before 2D could answer, Ace already jumped in and spoke for him. “That’s fine, Murdoc. I’ll leave you two be.” he continued to grin. He knew that Stuart wouldn’t leave his side, especially since the singer was a tad bit afraid of him. He liked that, and he knew Stuart himself liked to he dominated. It was something that Murdoc lacked whilst they were together — he let the bluenette do whatever he wanted and get away with it. Ace would have punished him for that kind of behavior and he knew Stuart would have enjoyed that a lot. No wonder he came to him and cheated.

With that, the temporary bassist released Murdoc from his grip and left after giving Stuart an intimidating glare so he knew not to try any ‘funny’ business.

Once Ace had left, 2D pushed himself up, sitting straight on the hospital bed. “I’m sorry I forgot ‘bout you Mu’doc...” he apologized, sweet and tender as always patting the spAce in front of him for the Satanist to sit. “Tell me everything! Remind me. What were we like?” 2D was eager to know.

 

Murdoc bowed his head as he sat, he didn’t look Stuart in the eyes, would be too painful "How we... were...?" his voice cracked. "I was your best mate... yeah... But... this feeling I had... just grew up... and... I couldn’t help but _fall in love with you_." He cracked a smile. "And it was the most sincere and happy feeling I’ve ever had in my damn life...." his heart tightened.

 "I'm gonna say what I have to say now... I don’t hope you believe me... okay?" he took a deep breath "Ace lied. You’re not his boyfriend you never were, I am.. or was... you... can’t remember...” He sighed remembering this detail. “Ace doesn’t like you... he's just using you to hurt me... he'll hit, you treat you really bad and I mean it... I know you're afraid of him... and this is not love." Little tears began to fall from his eyes.

"You don’t deserve that, you're a beautiful, fine, young man... and I know you... for twenty years, twenty years that you don’t remember but I do." God how they were happy through this time "I know you can’t tie your shoelAces, that you like zombie films and Peppermint tea... you're afraid of whales and that you have a voice of an angle when you sing, Stu..." he took another deep breath, looking for the right words.

"I just want you to know that... I'm sorry." he looked at him, crying. "I'm sorry I didn’t get here on time... to tell you the truth... Ace told you everything like... _like he was me_... all that happened was _me_ with you..." his heart twisted with memories, good ones. “ _Plastic Beach_ , our first time… The accident… Everything was me not him.” He sobbed. "I'm not a drunken lad, Stu... I risked myself to save you... and, and… I failed." He sniffled wiping his tears angrily.

"Look... I'll still be around... if you need anything. I’m still your best mate... just..." his hands almost tried to reach for his but he pulled back. "Just know that I care about you... and that I missed you so, so much, Stu... I missed you, as much as I don’t want to admit it." he grabbed his wallet. "Before I left... I got this to... remember us, each time things got too tough..." He grabbed a little photo that he took while they were on _Plastic Beach_. It showed him and Stu smiling sitting on the beach.

"I want you to keep with it..." he put into his hand, trembling as his skins touched. "You're the most important person in my life... you... you were... still are the love of it..." he tried to smile, again tears falling. "But I'm sorry I arrived too late." he tried his best to sound sincere bowing his head again, lips trembling. "Sweet Satan why can’t I be happy... with the man I love...?" he asked whispering just to himself.

Even though Stuart couldn’t remember this man sat before him, it hurt seeing him like that. His heart felt like it knotted tightly, causing him to almost choke on his breath. There was so much emotion in Murdoc’s explanation. Every single word he said made the knot grow tighter and tighter. It even felt like Stuart stomach was about to flip.

Ace couldn’t have lied, could he? But, why would Murdoc lie instead? When Ace explained Stuart’s life to him, he hardly had any tone of emotion to his voice. There was nothing there. But Stuart really felt something within his whole body when Murdoc described their relationship, and it was obvious it took a toll on the man too. It was all too clear when Murdoc handed him the picture of them both, that they had something more than just a friendship — especially when their hands touched slightly. Stuart felt like there were real-life butterflies fluttering around in the pit of his stomach. He could swear he felt some electricity passing from Murdoc to him, just in that simple gesture.

But, if that was the case, then why did 2D feel something hot and pleasant whenever Ace was around? When the temporary bassist glared at him, raised a hand or raised his voice, Stuart felt belittled and made submissive... He sort of liked that. Being dominated was what made him brain-washed, almost and Murdoc didn’t want to treat him like that he had already done it for almost this twenty years they were together. Ace had him where he wanted him — under his thumb and under his control. 2D liked being controlled, so it was a win-win for Ace.

 

“Mu’doc,” Stuart quickly grabbed the bassist’s hand, pulling him back gently. God, just the touch of Murdoc’s skin on his made his heart go crazy. “I dunno what to do...” he admitted, slowly bowing his head, still holding onto the man’s hand. “I didn’t feel anything when Ace kissed me... He forced me to kiss him actually… I feel a whole lot more when we just _touch_. So-“ he stopped, glancing over at the door to ensure Ace wasn’t near. Thankfully, he wasn’t. So the bluenette brought his black orbs back to lock with Murdoc’s eyes. “Kiss me...” he finished. “I wanna know if I feel it. I _need_ to know, please...”

Murdoc's eyes widened... he didn’t think twice... leaning closer and cupping his face with both hands and just pressing his lips against Stuart’s. Kiss was salty due to the recent tears. He deepened the kiss once he noticed Stuart was enjoying it.

When he broke it he whispered "I love you Stuart Pot. I always have." and hugged him if it was the last time he would be able to do that. "He barely know you for a year Stu... I know every tiny detail of your body and soul..." he tightened the hug. "´Please believe me, I need you back to me. I’ll do anything you want. I promise." he said meaning if he wanted to feel submissive Murdoc could learn how to do that... learn how to be in charge and overwhelm Stuart, if was that what he wanted.

That kiss was beautiful. Stuart’s heart thudded hard against his chest, which he didn’t manage to feel when he kissed Ace. Actually he didn’t feel anything at all. It was obvious that 2D’s subconscious was still trying to fight the memory-loss. El Mierda was a sick son of a bitch.

Once Murdoc pulled away and whispered those sweet words, Stuart couldn’t help himself. He leaned in again and kissed Murdoc’s lips more passionately. He really meant it. He felt like his heart was about to leap from his chest any moment now, and just run to snuggle Murdoc’s. This man was truly his _Soulmate_.

“I believe you,” 2D spoke after the kisses, when Murdoc hugged him. The singer wrapped his skinny arms around the bass player too and hugged him back as if there were no tomorrow.

However, just as they were hugging, Ace stepped back into the room. “Oi!” He snapped, to which Stuart quickly pulled away from Murdoc. “I warned you about no funny business, Dents.” He marched over to them and shoved Murdoc away just before yanking the tubes out of 2D’s arms. “You’re coming home,” he ordered, grabbing Stuart tightly by his thin wrists and pulling him out of the bed.

“But-But the doctors didn’t say-“ 2D started to form a sentence, but couldn’t finish due to Ace slapping his across the face. In front of Murdoc.

“I don’t give a fuck what the doctors say. You’re fine. Besides, we wouldn’t want this nasty old man giving you any wrong ideas,” Ace scowled at Murdoc as he spoke, clearly very angry with what he had seen.

Murdoc shoved him back even angrily "Don’t you dare to talk to my man like that you tosser." he punched his arm so he could let Stuart go, he sat on the bed once again, his face red from the slap. Murdoc wouldn’t pull his singer as he was just too weak. He noticed that all venous accesses were bleeding now that Ace took them out roughly. "Fuck". His face got white seeing that Stuart was bleeding.

Murdoc couldn’t hit Ace, or the doctors would come immediately telling that he hit the patient or he was attacking the visitors. He needed to think fast. So the Satanist pushed the button near Stuart’s bed to call the nurse. While this was happening he shoved Ace against the wall trying to get him far from Stuart.

"Stuart I'll keep him here, find someone to help." Murdoc yelled to the bluenette, despair taking his soul as he didn’t know if he was strong enough to keep Ace still without punching him. Murdoc just couldn’t let he got near 2D anymore.

Maybe if he could made Ace punch him was something wiser. "Why don’t you hit someone your size, your cunt, Stuart can’t defend himself..." he teased putting his hand on his neck, ready to squeeze it.

As soon as Murdoc pinned Ace up against the wall, the singer gasped in surprise and quickly nodded to Murdoc’s order. He hurried away to try and find some help — he didn’t want either of them to get hurt.

Meanwhile, Ace was throwing a hissy fit as Murdoc restrained him. “What makes you boss?” Ace hissed at him, growling angrily under his breath and revealing his sharp set of teeth. “The dullard likes to be ordered around, smacked up and dominated. He loves it so much. Especially in bed...” Ace teased harshly. “He’s like a damn pet. And he’s only good for two things: being used and singing. Besides that, he’s _useless_ ”

Once Murdoc threatened the green-skinned man, Ace shoved him off and threw his fist, punching Murdoc straight in the jaw. That’s just what Murdoc wanted, but Ace didn’t quite catch on. He was just so angry that Murdoc was ruining his plan, that he couldn’t help himself.

Murdoc smiled, seeing the doctors and a nurse arrived. He could swear his jaw was broken... his mouth was bleeding a lot. "He attacked me" he yell to everyone. "And he wants to attack Stuart too, look at their arms, Ace did it." he said in one breath pointing to him, before Ace could try to defend himself.

He pressed a hand on his sore jaw, now with adrenaline he didn’t feel anything, but it would hurt like hell after he knew for sure. He looked at Stuart, pale white and trembling, but besides he was scared his eyes weren’t white. Murdoc couldn’t help but smile noticing that. Ace's words would haunt him for life.... he know Stuart is far better than a punching bag, he learned that... after all those years.

Ace was immediately grabbed and taken away from the two of them. He was heard screaming and shouting curses at Murdoc whilst being dragged outside of the room and kicked out of the hospital. The nurse even called the police to take care of him.

That left 2D and Murdoc alone once again, and Stuart was horrified by the amount of blood that spilled from Murdoc’s mouth as his lip was cut. The singer cautiously approached the bass player and carefully placed a hand on his cheek, making sure not to hurt his jaw.

“Are you okay?” 2D asked softly, not even caring about his own little wounds and such. All that he knew, was that he cared a lot for the Satanist — he didn’t like the sight of him being hurt. “What happened? What did he do to you?”

"I'll be..." That hurt like hell... " Ace punched me really bad in the face... Telling lies about you...Don’t worry bout me.. it’s not like the first time I've ever been hit.." He tried to smile, Ace almost broke his jaw. "You need care too Stu..." he caressed his arms, blood still dripping from his wounds as Ace was really rough taking everything off his arms. "I can’t believe he did that to you..." He placed a hand on his face where Ace hit him..."I'm sorry I couldn’t protect you from him." Murdoc managed to put him sit down once again... "They might be coming back to take care of you... okay?"

“I want you to take care of me, Murdoc...” 2D admitted quietly. Even though he had lost his memory, his gut instinct was telling him that he could trust Murdoc.

 

The singer rubbed his arms anxiously, being careful not to hurt his small wounds. “I’ll be fine though,” Stuart informed him. “I think these bruises will look pretty cool anyways, don’t you think?” He laughed lightly, trying to brighten the mood.

"Yeah... they will look..." Murdoc chuckled softly and grabbed some paper nearby to dry the blood on his jaw. When he rubbed his arms Murdoc interlAced his fingers with his. "Welcome back, Bluebird... I'd do everything again to save you if I had to..." he gently smiled rubbing his hand with his thumb.

"This is nothing compared to losing you." He would kiss him, but would stain him with blood, not a good idea.

When Murdoc interlAced his fingers with his, 2D smiled softly. He needed that. Murdoc made him feel a lot better, which made him wonder if always did, back when he could remember.

“Bluebird?” 2D asked, blushing slightly. Did Murdoc always call him that? If so, he liked it. He thought it went well and was a good nickname due to his azure blue hair.

Murdoc blushed. "Y-yeah... That was how I used to call you... before all this happened, You used to call me “Muds” And I always liked that." He sighed "There are lots of things you don’t know anymore... But if you don’t like I can stop calling you like that.." He would respect is Stuart wasn’t ready for intimacy... "I'll be patient that you lost your memory..." He didn’t even know if it would ever come back.. But he could live with that.

“No, I like it...” 2D blushed even more. He was surely feeling adored by Murdoc as he called him that name.

The singer wasn’t fully aware of what Murdoc was aiming at when he said that there was a lot of things he had forgotten. Maybe more important things too? But Stuart wanted to dwell in what was happening right now. He liked the bass player. He felt somewhat safe in his presence. But, something about Ace’s presence really sparked off his adrenaline and he liked that too.

However, 2D pushed Ace to the back of his mind and forced a smile to show Murdoc that he wasn’t thinking of anything negative. He guessed there was nothing negative about his thoughts anyway, but to Murdoc they’d probably be. He didn’t like Ace and that was obvious.

"There are some things... I think we might talk if you still want to be my boyfriend..." Murdoc had a lot of doubts about who was really Stuart and who El Mierda made him to be... "But first someone need to take care of our wounds... I'll explain everything you need to know..." He smiled already tired having to explain all he knew about Stuart... there must be a way to recover his memory.

He pushed the button once again calling the nurse to them. He need something for pain and Stuart needed his wires back. "After they take care of you, I will okay? I'm not leaving here till you're out." he promised

Stuart nodded, agreeing to what Murdoc said. He needed to get assisted with his wounds and Murdoc needed help too. It was a good call by pressing the button to get the nurses back.

“You won’t leave me, will you… Muds?” 2D asked, feeling a little insecure and afraid that Murdoc would be impatient. What if it was harder to remember than he thought?

"Only if I need to save your life once again... Besides that, never." He giggled softly hearing his nickname once again. "Look I waited 31 years to meet you in my life... and I lost you after 20.... I can wait another 30 if it takes to have you back... Even if you don’t remember who I am I know who you are... and that’s enough for me.” He messed his hair. "You're worth the fight and the wait, Bluebird." he was tired, in pain, sad... But seeing Stuart smiling gave him his strength back. " I mean it, I'd go to hell and come back to bring you with me..."

Hearing those words not only brightened Stuart’s mood, but it brightened his smile too. God, Murdoc really did love him. It was heart-warming to know that someone cared so much about it.

“Thank you,” the singer gently rubbed over the back of Murdoc’s hand with his free one. “You know, for sticking with me this whole time and for nor giving up on me...”

Murdoc eyes watered. He wanted to hear him saying thank you so bad... recognizing what he had done, everything... he smiled. "You don’t have to thank me, I did that ‘cuz _I love you_... and" he leaned a bit closer "I'm not asking you to love me back... you barely know who I am." He chuckled "Just please let me show you how much I love you and care about you everyday, It's enough for me..." Even if Stuart didn’t want him back... even if he chose another person to love.. Murdoc would have his chance to show how he really feel after that. "Just let me spend the rest of my life at your side even as a friend." he had a sweet and tender look to him.

Stuart smiled softly at the man before tiredly resting his head onto his shoulder. He hummed quietly, burying his face into Murdoc’s shirt. “Show me you love and care for me Mu’doc...” he spoke tenderly. He agreed to what Murdoc was asking of him and had no problem with doing so. “I know I must have loved you. So much. I can feel it in my heart...” 2D admitted, closing his eyes soundly.

"Maybe in time.. you'll want to be mine..." he said just like in the song. Suddenly the nurse appeared. Gently he put Stuart again laying down, he caressed his face. "I'll be right back, Bluebird.". He left knowing that this time thing would de just fine. Just the way they need to be.


	8. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little talk between mates

The woman put all tubes and accesses back in place, cleaning his blood. They took Murdoc outta the room to look at his wounds. Fortunately, his jaw wasn’t broken, just very sore.

They gave him ice and painkillers, wiped the blood. Murdoc told them about what Ace had done and asked if he could stay with Stuart a little longer. They told them he was his boyfriend even not knowing if he really was, he just needed to be closer his singer seeing him fine. They allowed him to do it. He reached his room with a smile covered in bandages and ice. "I'm back, didn’t take long, did it?"

Stuart was so happy and excited to see Murdoc back again. He was quick! That made him smile ever so brightly.

“Mu’doc!” 2D exclaimed, showing his toothless beam and sitting up straight on the hospital bed, reaching his arms out for him. He was like a child seeing their superhero for the first time... but that’s just it. Murdoc really _was his hero_. He had saved him, and even though it was a little too late since El Mierda wiped away his memory, Stuart was still very grateful that Murdoc went out and risked so much for him. “You’re back!” He blushed a little.

Murdoc entered the room smiling under the ice. God how he missed his childish way... besides long ago when he got angry when 2D acted like that, with time he had learned to love this little details of his singer. That was _really_ him back... the most precious gift he could ever receive. He sat on the bed, in the spAce 2D gave him. "Are you feeling better? Did they take care of you?

“Yeh, look-“ 2D stopped, pointing down at his clean arms with the tubes and what not back in place. “They hooked me back up, they did. Told me it might hurt a little when they put them back in, but it didn’t. I’m big boy, me.” Stuart wasn’t such a ‘big boy’ in his mind, though — and it was obvious by the way he talked.

“What about you, Muds?” The singer asked, bringing his eyes back up to him and scooting a tad bit closer to the bass player. “Did they treat your jaw? Are you okay now? Please tell me you are...” 2D hated the sight of Murdoc being hurt.

"You're such a brave boy" Murdoc messed with his hair, still not able to kiss him... God Ace could have hit him in the stomach for fuck's sake, now he wanted to kiss his singer so bad and couldn't.."Yeah thankfully it isn’t broken... just a bit sore... but will heal with time.." his eyes widened "wait a minute... did you just called me Muds..?" He leaned closer blushing... he grabbed his hand smiling once again...

Stuart smiled happily once Murdoc called him a brave boy. He loved it! He really felt like a brave boy for taking such minor injuries — anyone could have probably dealt with what he went through with ease anyway.

“Oh uh...” 2D stopped to think. “Yeh-“ he said, glancing down at the bassist’s hand as he took his and blushed before continuing. “I-I guess I did...”. He said absentmindedly… It came naturally… He wasn’t expecting all that reaction from the bassist. Stuart’s memory was slowly starting to come back. But it would be a long way away for it to truly redeem.

"Would you mind doing it again, Stu...? I kinda missed that..." Murdoc told him all honestly. He was a bit too touchy but he didn’t mind, Stuart seemed so happy it made his heart melt. He rubbed his arm encouraging him.

2D continued to smile, more gently this time. He sat closer to the bassist, pulling himself out from underneath the bed sheets. He rested his hand on Murdoc’s thigh, glowing a soft pink in his cheeks as he did — it just felt so right, deep down, to touch the man or make any sort of physical contact.

“Muds...” the bluenette repeated, a little quieter than how he had previously said it.

That simple word made Murdoc's weak heart melt... "Thank you, Bluebird..." he closed his eyes loving the way his name sounded in his voice. "Guess you're slowly remembering things... I'm really glad for that..."he reopened his eyes "I'll help you. Will be a pleasure showing who you are to you again..." he chuckled softly.

“Thank you Mu’doc...” the singer shut his eyes soundly and leaned his head gently onto the Satanist’s shoulder. He felt so comforted by his presence, it was actually very confusing for Stuart. But, he went along with it anyway. His guts told him to. “I feel safe with you, y’know?” He admitted, humming softly afterwards and burying his face into Murdoc’s neck. He felt at home, in the position he was in.

Murdoc couldn't help but press his hand gently on his hair caressing it in a slow pAce... "You have no idea how I missed that, Stu..." he closed his eyes once again. "Hope you always feel..." he tried to kiss the top of his head, making an odd sound as his mouth was sore. "Do you know when you'll be able to leave, D?" He nuzzled his face into his soft hair, it smelled like 2D. For some moments, Murdoc thought he’d never be able to do that again.

Feeling Murdoc’s fingers running through his hair made Stuart smile warmly. He loved that feeling; it was so comforting and meaningful — all little actions like that were passionate and they mattered.

“Doctors said I can leave tomorrow,” 2D informed him, loving when the bassist nuzzled his face into his hair. He even loved it when Murdoc kissed the top of his head — it made his heart flutter with joy. “They said they’re not sure why I’m suffering amnesia,” 2D continued. “They can’t do anything ‘bout it...”

Murdoc's heart sunk. "I know why you're suffering from it, Stu... but you'll probably won't believe me…" he chuckled softly hugging his singer a bit more.”I'll stay here for the night ok? Tomorrow I take you home..." he pulled out and looked into his eyes "You will recover in a blink of an eye" he caressed his face with his free hand, spoiling him a bit. Murdoc still fell a bit bad about Stuart's memory, but he wouldn't show it to his singer as he was doing so well trying to remember things and staying at his side.

Due to Stuart’s memory loss, he wasn’t aware at how badly he had treated Murdoc recently or even how badly Murdoc used to treat him — they were both as bad as each other, in a way.

The singer smiled bright and happily as Murdoc spoiled him. He looked so adorable, sat there with his toothless beam and his rosy cheeks. However, his brain worked like a toddlers. Praising equals good behavior. Scolding equals bad behavior — it really wasn’t that hard to understand, so 2D was easily manipulated.

“Do you think it’ll come back soon, my memory?” He asked, beginning to wonder if he’d even want it back.

Murdoc thought for a moment... if El Mierda had used some kinda of spell, curse or something like that with Stuart... he wouldn't be able to undo it, unless he talked to another demon or entity. No, bad idea "I dunno Stu... we can try and work on that..." he sighed "I want you to remember... even the bad things... you lived 40 years.. I mean... it can’t be just gone..." he poked his forehead "Must be somewhere inside there, D"

“Why don’t you help me?” The blue boy asked, keeping that soft smile along his thin lips. “I have a question that I’ve wanted an answer to ever since I woke up in this bloody hospital bed...” 2D informed him, giving him a puzzled expression as he tried to think about any possible answers. Nothing came to mind.

“Tell me Muds,” the singer resumed before lifting his hands and pointing at his eyes. “Why do my eyes look like this? Why are they different to yours?” He asked as he reached out and gently prodded Murdoc’s cheekbones, beneath his eyes as he spoke about them.

Murdoc's face saddened... "It’s kinda my fault Stu..." he scratched the back of his head "You suffered an accident 15th of August 1997... The first time we've ever met." He took a deep breath... Murdoc wouldn't lie to his singer. He looked him in the eye. " I was 31 and you were 19. I wanted to steal the store you worked in... so I crashed inside it with my car... and you were on the way..." he was even more sad.

"This knocked you out in a coma, and made your left eye like what you see, blood filled, that's why its black, it's a fracture, It name is 8 ball fracture..." he explained patiently hoping Stuart would understand and not hate him "After that I was ordered to take care of you in coma. 10 hours a week.. And I liked it. You were a good listener after all." He smiled "after some time I started to worry if you wouldn't wake up anymore... I was scared when you wake up you'd hate me..." he grabbed his hand caressing it "After a while I took you to a ride with me... and I didn’t fastened your seatbelt for some reason. I lost control of the car, crashed and you flew across the window... hit your head again and your right eye was fractured too... But you woke up"

"After this... I saw you, talk, skinny, azure hair, no eyeballs... I made you my frontman.. and I didn’t know that time you were able to sing and play keyboards... so I kinda won the lottery..." he looked at him again "That was what happened, that's why your eyes are like this... was my fault..." he thought Ace should have told him about it. “And your nickname 2D came from this.” He smiled remembering that 2D once was just Stuart Pot.

"You had blue eyes before that... but I still think you're the most handsome man I've ever seen in my life..." he looked another direction "I already apologized about that to you... but I can do that again if you want me to..." he was afraid Stuart would hate him knowing the truth.

“Blue eyes?” 2D brought his hands back to his face, gently tracing over his closed eyelids. He sounded sad, because he really was. Blue eyes? Wow. That seemed nice. He felt like a freak with those black orbs instead.

When he reopened his eyes, he gazed at the green man, his eyes seemingly showing despair. He didn’t want Murdoc to feel bad because obviously he forgave him before... but now that he couldn’t remember, he felt the pain all over again.

“And my teeth?” He asked, pouting slightly. “What happened to my teeth? Why don’t I have as many as you do?” 2D’s tone was light yet distraught at the same time.

"Well the second time you had an accident you've lost them, together with your eyes..." Murdoc looked at his face "And you never put them back.... just like I did with my nose, never get it fixed.." he tried his best to explain, seeing his desperate face. He got even sadder... he thought Stuart would have asked about his hair... did he think he dyed it?

Murdoc took a deep breath thinking that he should answer any question his singer made up... anything he wanted to know about him and their lives. Bad or good he had the right to know the truth.

Stuart fiddled around with his gap, poking his fingers through where his teeth used to be. He was surely missing more than one tooth — even more than two. He’d say around four, if that.

“Mu’doc...” the singer began, taking a deep breath before asking his next question. “Ace told me that I’m considerate the pretty boy, especially with the ladies. But how am I pretty with no teeth and no eyes?” He bowed his head a little, looking down at the dumps. He knew he was odd-looking. No one else looked like him — he thought people may look at his as though he were a science experiment or a creep.

Murdoc's gaze softened. "You're beautiful cuz..." he placed a hand on his face "you're adorable, kind hearted, lovely and have a voice of an angle... you have so many qualities I can’t even tell you..." he caressed his face gently "There are some… things missing in your face... really. But nothing misses in your heart. You're good Stuart... That’s what makes you different from other people… amazing in writing songs and singing... that's why people love you or fall in love with you... your kindness and talent" Murdoc smiled.

 "That's why I fell in love with you... your soul has all the colors of a rainbow Stuart... that's why you're beautiful..." he placed a thumb on his lower lip "some people find the odd, beautiful... I'm one of them" he chuckled "But that's how I see you... the girls might find you pretty cuz you're famous and a frontman... nothing but interest... in money and fame..."

 

 

"I didn’t fell in love only with your body.. I fell in love with your soul. There’s the difference." He tries his best to explain. "And that's why I made you mine... so no bird or no bloke would ever get closer you... but as you see, Ace tried to steal you from me today... so you still gorgeous, luv.... and wanted" he giggled

2D rested his head into Murdoc’s palm, leaning into his touch. He closed his eyes soundly as he listened to the man explain why he was beautiful. He couldn’t have said it more romantic. It was lovely to listen to.

Once Murdoc places a thumb on his bottom lip, Stuart smiled softly. He was truly feeling warm inside — his heart fluttered with joy and love. It was clear that Murdoc was his one true love; his soulmate. He wouldn’t feel any other way with him nor would he feel this way with anyone else. There was something special about this man.

2D reopened his eyes and locked his orbs with Murdoc’s multi-coloured ones. The soft smile remained along his lips as he scooted closer, leaning in to press his forehead against the bass player’s. For some reason, he felt the urge to kiss the man. But he was uncertain if it would cause chaos or confusion, or hurt his mouth. He gathered that it was because of his sub-conscience trying to break through, to make him remember. But unfortunately, there was no recovery yet — though there had been a few things that made it possible that the singer could fully recover soon.

Murdoc's eyes widened as he leaned closer.. What Ace told him wasn’t wrong... of course not. But he tried his best to make Stuart see himself as someone beautiful and lovable. "Look if it wasn’t this accident... I wouldn't have ever met you... and my life wouldn't be as happy as it is. I mean it. I'm sorry you don’t look the way you were before, but you're not less handsome than you were right? You're far better .." he smiled caressing his hair.

He pulled a little far and tried again make him feel better. He pulled his shirt up a little "see I have my own scars too D..." he showed white marks on his stomach and chest.. "My father made those ones to me..." he showed his arms full of cigarette burns, glass cuts and God knows what else... "On my back there are others." He sighed "what I am telling to say is that everyone has scars... some bigger than others... that's what made us who we are..."

"You survived all that... and you're a victory for that." He smiled feeling his jaw aching as he had spoken too much.

“You’re right Mu’doc,” The singer agreed, pulling back slightly as he blushed in embarrassment. Of course it was a silly move to make, leaning in close like that. It made the blunette feel vulnerable. He sighed, slowly laying down onto his side, avoiding contact with the bass player.

But, after a few seconds, Stuart realized and knew he was being petty. So, he glanced down at the man and let out a soft breath. “Why did your dad marked you like that?” He asked, not able to remember how the bassist used to be abused by his father. “You don’t have to tell me...” 2D quickly added, noticing how Murdoc’s expression seemed to display discomfort. “If your jaw is hurting Muds, you can just tell me tomorrow, yeh?”

"No problem... I missed talking to you..." he admitted feeling happy to explain everything once more to his singer. "My dad abused me, all my childhood. My mother was rotting in an asylum and I had only Sebastian and my older brother." He shifted in place looking at Stu.

"They made my life a living hell, every day, more curses and punches that I could count. I was even raped, Stu. And I think they hated me. But I never understood why." he frowned thinking "I guess I was jealous that your parents always loved you so much... took care of you and I was always alone. When I took care of you in coma they always told you how they loved you and wanted you back... I never had that." he was honesty but avoided the bad parts. He finished smiling.

"I wish I could have a family, than I found you and the band... it was the closest of a family I’ve ever had..."He took a deep breath "I turned into my father under some point of view... and I treated you really bad cuz of that... I was improving... really trying, but its sodding difficult..." he lowered his gaze.

“Like your father?” Stuart asked, not quite certain on why Murdoc meant. “What do you mean by that Muds?”

2D was eager to know. The Satanist admitted that he treated him badly. But how? Did he abuse him like his father abused him? Or did he... Did he rape him? Stuart didn’t know. But that bothered him. He wanted to know. “What did you do? What have you done to me?” He asked, narrowing his eyebrows slightly. Even his tone harshened just a bit.

"I mean that...." He looked down "Look my father beat the shit outta me... sometimes cuz I answered him, I didn’t washed the dishes properly or anything. He would beat me till I pass out. And when he didn’t beat, he would _sell_ me to his friends." He closed his eyes shut, hands trembling.

"I grew up like that... so I’ve never learned about any good feeling between people... so I treated you bad. But I never _ever_ tried to rape you, cut you, break your bones or anything beyond repair... after all you were my best mate. I just punched you when you annoyed me too much... or yelled at you or cursed when I was too drunk... those are shitty excuses of course, I should never ever touch you to hurt you... as you never did anything to me... you took care of me more times than I can count. I was angry and I bloody hated myself, I wanted to hurt myself, but I hurt you instead... I regret everyday that I did it." he looked at him, his eyes watered as he was being really sincere.

"I... never thought I was capable of anything good in my life Stuart, and it made me angry how lovely and adorable you were.. How everyone loved you. I wanted to destroy that... I dunno why... maybe.. Maybe I did that to remind me that ... bad guys would never be with the good ones, and you were too good for me. I would never have the chance to be with you... so I pushed you away. I had to remind me I _didn’t deserve you_." he cracked a little smile.

"I kidnaped you to keep you safe... I stole your girlfriend cuz I was jealous of you... I was a bad really mean person to you, Stuart..." he blinked a stubborn tear "But... it was all pretending... running away from the truth... that I was _madly in love with you_... I was scared okay...? And... when I told you how I felt... you feel just the same... you forgave me and gave me another chance... I couldn’t believe your heart was that good... So I took the chance and risked all my life for you."

After hearing Murdoc’s recall, Stuart felt both cold yet warm inside. Cold because he was mortified by the way Murdoc was treated by his so-called ‘family’ and also for the way Murdoc treated him. Though, he felt warm too because of the way the two came together and formed an unbreakable bond. Even though 2D’s memory was missing, Murdoc was slowly putting the puzzle pieces back together and filling in the gaps.

Stuart pushed himself up so he was sitting on the hospital bed, facing the bass player to see his teary eyes. He reached forwards and took hold of Murdoc’s hand whilst gently wiping away a fallen tear from the man’s cheek with his free one. “Don’t cry...” 2D almost whispered, giving the Satanist a kind smile. “I think we had a chemistry...” he admitted his thoughts. “We still do. I can feel it. The emotion I have in my stomach is so strong Muds... I think I... I think I like you.” The singer was being honest. He felt a hot fire in the pit of his stomach whenever Murdoc spoke to him. His heart fluttered whenever the man came near him. Of course 2D loved him... or MUST have loved him before he lost his memory.

 

“Thank you for being here with me...” the bluenette thanked him, lifting his hand and pressing a caring kiss on the back of it.

"I didn’t know you liked people with your stomach, D..." He chuckled, feeling in heaven with those words. "Just hope it's not hunger." he smiled, his voice breaking trying not to cry. He felt his heart was gonna burst hearing he still liked him. He sniffled. "I thought... I though you wouldn’t like me anymore." He felt the weight on his shoulders disappearing. "Sweet Satan Stu..." he squeezed his hand. " I won’t let anything bad happen to you ever again, are you listening...? Never." the fear of losing him was slowly fading away.. Giving spAce to a relief one. He put the ice aside and held him tight. "I'll learn how to be good to you Stu, I swear."

“Mmm...” the singer hummed as Murdoc held him tight. He smiled to himself, hearing those words. He felt safer in Murdoc’s arms, but now he felt even safer that the bassist had sworn to him that he’d treat him good and wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him ever again. “You’re so sweet Muds... You deserved to be loved you know?” 2D had the hot feeling inside his stomach and heart once again. Even his cheeks felt hot as they flushed a soft pink when he spoke. “Can I-“ he stopped, feeling a little embarrassed to ask. However, the bluenette proceeded. “Can I kiss you, Mu’doc?” 2D felt that urge once more and decided to go along with it this time.

Murdoc slowly broke the hug. Looked into his black orbs "The only person I ever wanted to like me was you, Bluebird" he smiled tenderly "Of course you can..." he rubbed his broken nose against the singer normal one.

With the go-ahead, 2D leaned in close and pressed his lips against Murdoc’s. The singer kissed him very softly, wanting it to be meaningful. He let his fractured eyes flutter shut as he kissed him, making sure to keep it as tenderly as possible.

He held it for a good few seconds before pulling away, locking his eyes with Murdoc’s. He smiled lightly, blushing a cute pink in his baby cheeks. 2D was feeling all the magical fireworks in the back of his mind and his heart like he did when he first kissed the bass player.

Murdoc felt those warm lips once again and he melted into the kiss... he wanted to deepen it but couldn't. His mouth was sore and he didn’t want to scare Stuart. He enjoyed every second of it, feeling home once again... "Did.. did you feel something?" His heart was racing in expectation of his answer... he placed a hand on his face looking into his black orbs, trying to find any hint of lie. Thankfully, he didn’t.

“I felt _everything.”_ the singer replied, staring deeply and lovingly back into Murdoc’s. He felt right. It felt right. Everything about this felt right! “Did you feel anything, Muds?” 2D asked, needing to know if he felt just as much as he did...

Murdoc couldn't help but smile widely "Stuart it’s really yourself... It worked!" He almost yelled hugging him once again, tighter this time.. "I felt I never was so sure of anything in my whole life.. " he whispered into his ear. "Is it just me and you? Just us?” He said thinking about Ace only, not the band… That was another issue they would have to deal with after.

Once the vocalist felt Murdoc’s arms wrap even tighter around his body for the second time, he couldn’t help but giggle lightly and bury his face into the man’s shoulder. He loved that feeling — when the bassist hugged him so sincerely and excitedly.

2D felt a good wrath of shivers flow down his spine once Murdoc’s raspy voice hit his ear. He liked that tone voice, especially when he whispered.

Stuart nodded gently, blushing harder. “Uh huh..” he added. “You and me against whole world, Muds.”

"I love you so sodding much, Stuart Pot." he said in a low tone inside his ear.

 


	9. Addiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some unwanted news came.

Murdoc would began to kiss his neck when the nurse entered once more into their room, clearing her throat. "Mr. Niccals, I need to talk to Mr. Pot for a second, about some tests we made with him... can you please wait outside?" she asked politely and Murdoc let Stuart go when he heard her voice, blushing. He stood up and was ready to leave.

All was going well until the nurse came in and interrupted their moment. 2D didn’t find that very amusing. However, she sounded serious. What could possibly be happening now? Just when everything was falling back into place.

“No- Wait!” 2D quickly grabbed ahold of Murdoc’s hand as he stood up from the hospital bed. “Don’t... Don’t leave me...” the singer was clearly worried and afraid to be alone.

The woman noticed they weren't just friends. "Okay he may stay. But I need you to be ready for what I am about to tell you." she looked pretty serious. Murdoc nodded and remained silent.

"Mr. Pot reached this hospital _very_ intoxicated. He was almost overdosing. As we were able to bring him back, we made blood tests with him, to know his real situation." She gave Murdoc the papers "We found... a little more than just medicines in your boyfriend's blood... he had high amounts of antidepressants, anxiolytics and analgesics in his blood... but we found cocaine and heroin as well..." she had a concerned glance "If your friend didn’t drag him here, he'd problably wouldn’t have made it, Mr. Niccals..."

"About your lack of memory Mr. Pot, we can’t tell you it didn’t happen due to the drugs. As a nurse I must tell you that your boyfriend needs help immediately." She didn’t know about anything related to El Mierda and stuff… Murdoc didn’t know either if he had used cuz he was too depressed or desperate or wasn’t him.

As soon as the Nurse began listing the amounts of drugs that were in his system, including the cocaine and heroin, Stuart immediately bowed his head in shame and hid his face away from Murdoc. He had forgotten about that, but now that she mentioned it, he began to remember. He didn’t want Murdoc finding out about the overdosing or the type of drugs he was using — especially the illegal ones. The ones he was addicted.

The singer didn’t speak after that. He hoped Murdoc would speak to the nurse for him instead. He was too embarrassed and disgusted in himself for getting himself into this kind of situation, and he knew Murdoc would feel the same way. Murdoc would freak out if he found out and now he knew. God, he was in trouble for sure.

Murdoc swallowed hard. "And what kind of help he needs...?" he hesitantly asked

"Well... he's _addicted_. And he would probably have some troubles with withdrawals... and relapses. If he really wants to quit.” She looked at Stuart. “You'll need to take care of him or look for a clinic that can do it for you and help him detox. And of course work into bringing his memory back." She gave him a paper with a list of clinics "If he reach this hospital, weak as he is intoxicated as he was, might be the last time, Mr. Niccals." She took a step back looking serious to both man. "You'll have to help him get dressed, take showers, even walk if he feels too weak for that... he had an infection into his stomach due to excess of pills and substance abuse... We had to treat him for that too. The rest of the treatment can be done at home. You'll need to be responsible for him even if he is 40.” That was something stupid to say, but Stuart acted like an irresponsible child sometimes.

Stuart brought his blacked-out eyes back up to Murdoc slowly as the nurse spoke to him. He looked so worried for him. It pained the singer to see Murdoc like that... But to not use his pills or the illegal drugs anymore was just _too hard_ to give up.

However, 2D began to sniffle lightly. He couldn’t bare the look in Murdoc’s eyes... It tore his heart into pieces. The bluenette quickly wiped away the tears from the corner of his eyes before rubbing the tip of his nose into his sleeve. He was on the verge of crying, no doubt. But, it was his own fault after-all.

“I’m so sorry Mu’doc...” 2D apologized quietly, not knowing what else to say. But, what could he say? No amount of apologizing was going to fix this.

The nurse noticed Stuart beginning to cry "I'll leave you both alone." She exited the room. Murdoc turned to him and grabbed his hand. He didn't look mad or angry, he was genuinely _concerned,_ in fact he was afraid of losing his singer. "Hey Stuart... why are you crying...?" He softly asked, dread taking his soul. He caressed his hand with his both trying to calm him down. He wouldn’t give up on him, not now nor never. It was just another challenge they needed to go through.

The singer sniffled again, trying to hold back his tears with every ounce of might that he held within his body. However, it was still very obvious that he was crying. Murdoc even asked why.

“I don’t want you to look at me like that...” he quickly wiped his tears away again, but this time with the sleeve of his top. “You look so sad Muds... So concerned and disappointed. I’m just- I...” he stopped, breaking down into a soft sob. “I’m so sorry...” 2D was mainly apologizing for his state of mind, even now. Despite being told about the life threatening results and his near death experience, he still _couldn’t refuse the drugs_.

Murdoc just hugged him, going back and forth burying Stuart’s face on his shoulder. He had learned how to be soft and not scare him. He wouldn’t cooperate if Murdoc threatened him...

"Listen Stu... I could yell, curse, punch you and even throw things against you right now..." He sighed "But that was my fault too, and I'm fucking afraid of losing you." he swallowed hard knowing that his absence since he was arrested was one of the reasons behind his abuse. He heard his soft whimpers feeling his heart breaking.

"Just let me help you…" he asked "I can’t, I have no heart to watch you _killing_ yourself Stuart... I'd _leave you_ if you don’t quit this... this addiction." He tightened the hug "Sweet Satan I did everything I could to save you...Please I can’t _lose_ you.." he closed his eyes. "I won’t give up on you..." The bassist knew he wasn’t an example to be followed… He was an alcoholic for fuck’s sake… But Stuart didn’t need to end just like him, miserable and bitter with life.

Murdoc put his heart into that words. He meant each one of them. He thought that fighting with Stuart would just make things even harder. But if he didn’t listen him, he would have to use violence to protect his singer. Ace would never help him like that. That’s what he thought. "I was able to deal with cheating...but this, this I can’t Stuart..." he was totally honest. "You… you can die..." he whispered.

“I dunno how to let you help me...” 2D admitted, crying into the man’s shoulder as he rocked back and forth. The rocking soothed the singer a little, but not enough. He was broken right now. “I can’t let you help me...” he correct himself, slowly pulling away. “I need them, I do. _I need the drugs Mu’doc_. I know it’s stupid but God... they make me feel so much better. I can’t give them up. You can’t help me.”

Stuart was trying to be as honest as he could. And in the end, he raised his thick eyebrows in surprise to what Murdoc had said. “Wait- Cheated?” He questioned, gasping lightly. “I-I... I cheated on you?” 2D was heartbroken already, now this was going to make him feel even more like a failure. He was a bad person, in his mind.

Murdoc broke the hug. "Yeah... You did... But I didn't care..." He wiped his own tears "It hurt me a lot... and I'm positive you didn’t do just once... But I couldn’t lose you. So while I was away I forgave you..." he confessed looking down. "But if you want to keep the drugs, Stu you'd lose me." He finally stated. "Using your pills for medical purposes is fine... but..." New tears left his eyes. "I won’t watch this." he swallowed hard "I don’t... I don’t wanna be with a lie... " he frowned and sniffled. "You'll have to make a decision, me or them..." He was really afraid of what his singer would chose, but he was ready.

Murdoc hoped he could make this sacrifice as he had forgiven him from cheating and fought to save him... But he wasn’t so sure. Maybe the balance was still unbalanced on both sides.

Stuart shook his head slightly and quickly formed new tears in his eyes. He didn’t want to choose between the two. He needed them both! How could he live with one and not the other?

“Please don’ make me choose Muds...” he sniffled yet again, not bothering to wipe away the tears that rolled down his soft cheeks. “I can’t... I can’t choose. I _won’t_.”

Murdoc closed his eyes and bowed his head. "Fine Stuart." he stood up. "You already made your choice." he tried to smile. "I'm sorry."

Murdoc knew he couldn’t make this decision, but... he decided he couldn’t take it any longer. He had already sacrificed and lost many things... was cheated, punched... If Stuart didn’t recover his memory _Gorillaz_ would be over... and now them... It was too much to bear. "I love you, my Bluebird. But I can't." he whispered defeated. "I'll be... in the waiting room, if you need me." Stuart couldn’t chose him... that made him really devastated.

This time wasn’t just a choice, he could really die. This would be a loss nothing in the world would be able to fix.

“No- Wait!” 2D called out, reaching out for him. “Don’t go. Don’t leave me. I-I didn’t mean that, swear.” The singer felt as though he not only wanted Murdoc by his side, but he _needed_ him. “I just- I can’t...” he paused, beginning to tear up once more. “It’s so hard, Muds...”

2D was in a really bad state. His mental health and his physical heath were both heading down a horrific pathway. He didn’t know how to stop it nor prevent it. The obvious answer was to stop taking drugs, of course. But he couldn’t do that. He didn’t know how. He was too deep into the intoxications to help himself. No amount of begging for him to stop was going to work. Hell, even though all of this was happening due to the drug use, the only thing the bluenette wanted to do right now was to take some more cocaine and heroin.

“Mu’doc, be my hero...” Stuart hesitantly asked, hoping that would make the bassist feel sorry for him and soften up.

"I went through some really hard things Stuart... Really." he bailed his hands into fists. "How can I be your hero if you don’t want help?" He turned himself looking at him in the eyes "I will only stay here if you accept help. Otherwise I'm leaving." Murdoc felt like all his efforts turned to ashes. Stuart was alive, of course, but he would kill himself sooner or later with this behavior.

Russel told him once Stuart behaves like a child, now he would be treated like one. No negotiating, he had a problem that needed to be fixed.

“Don’t look at me like that Muds...” Stuart sighed and slowly hung his head in shame. He knew taking drugs was risky in the first place, and now he was just embarrassed to the way they had a hold on him. “I know you’re disgusted in me... I can see it in your eyes...” the singer placed his head into his palms, resting his elbows in his lap. “I hate myself,” 2D admitted, beginning the remember certain things about his past that led to that conclusion. “ _I know you hate me too_. Why else would you bully me so much? It’s not jealousy. You just hate me...” He played low trying to convince Murdoc of giving up.

Murdoc frowned. "Of course I hate you Stuart. That's why I'm here fighting for _your_ damn life. Even when yourself don’t care for it." He raised his voice a bit, snarling. "I hate you when you're so bloody stubborn to understand that this things can actually _kill_ you." he took a step near his singer. "You can't sodding see the bigger picture can you Stuart? You think your life is just this addiction and that you're not capable of fighting against it." He pointed a trembling finger to him, angry. "I hate that too." he sighed. "I can't hate you. okay? I can't. If I hated you I'd let Ace do anything he wanted with you. He would let you die and wouldn’t even care. He would even be your drug dealer. Is that what you want? Cuz I can fucking leave right now." he clenched his teeth, really angry.

Once Murdoc raised his voice, the singer quickly brought his head back up and locked his eyes onto his. He was shocked to hear such anger coming from the Satanist, even though he had heard it many times before. It made him look _powerful._

“I’m sorry...” 2D apologized, sniffling and pushing himself to the edge of the hospital bed. He weakly stood up, barely being able to stand alone on his two feet. He was much taller that the bass player, so he kept his head bowed slightly to keep him in his sight. “I know I love you...” he began to say, reaching out and fiddling with the material on Murdoc’s shirt. “But to stop it, Muds... It’s much easier said than done. I dunno how to stop...” 2D tried to get his point of view across.

Murdoc's eyes softened. "I know you don't, D. I didn't say it was easy, Stu. I never said that." He placed a hand on his face, lifting it a bit, still looking up ‘cuz he was just too tall. "I say you have my word I'll help you out..cuz..." He bit his lip. "I've already went through what you're into, Stuart." He had a sad story about his past he didn’t know if Stuart would want to hear. Thankfully, he listened him when he rose his voice... that was something that pretty worked with Stuart sometimes. Murdoc remembered Ace's voice telling him how he wanted to feel overwhelmed. With time he could learn how to do it, and make Stuart happy with that. Not cruel manipulation at all, ‘cuz he loved him madly.

The bluenette groaned in discomfort as Murdoc talked. He felt too weak to deal with any of this. Also, he was already beginning to feel the on-coming withdrawals.

“Muds...” he stopped the bassist, pouting slightly. “Me head hurts, it does. Got a real bad migraine...” 2D was telling the truth, but of course he was very glad he had a headache so he could take some of his pills — just to satisfy his needs a touch.

After that, the singer sat himself down on the edge of his bed once again. It was better that way, so he wasn’t using too much of his energy; he needed it. “Can I have a kiss Mu’doc? I’d feel a lot better...” 2D was like a child, but that was nothing new to the Satanist.

Murdoc leaned closer him kissing his forehead tenderly. He didn't know if Stuart was pretending but he wasn’t dumb. "I know kisses can't cure headaches, Bluebird. Especially your concussions." He held his hand. "I'll give your pills, but just to make the pain go away, not make you numb, okay?" He really hoped he was okay with that. Murdoc had already suffered a lot with withdrawals... he knew how he must feel. But different from his singer he was alone when he felt all that. Dealt with it alone. He wouldn’t let Stuart down. Or in pain.

"I'll talk to the nurse so I can have your pills back." He said looking into his black eyes.

Stuart nodded and smiled gently as Murdoc agreed to get his pills back. He couldn’t wait to take them! He was excited, no doubt. They made him feel a whole lot better; even better than when he drank or smoked his cigarettes.

“No...” 2D whined quietly as Murdoc pressed a kiss on his forehead. He enjoyed that a lot, but he wanted more. “Gimme a kiss...” 2D puckered his lips, waiting for Murdoc’s to connect with them.

Murdoc smiled and took his lips for him. He kissed a little more rough this time. Biting his lower lip and sucking it. "Behave and you'll be able to have lot more than that..." he kissed his nose and left.

The singer felt himself shudder as Murdoc bit and sucked on his bottom lip. That felt fucking great. Stuart even let a soft moan escape as his eyes fluttered shut.

However, Murdoc pulled away and teasingly stated how he’d have a lot more than that if he behaved. 2D felt his face burning once he heard those words. His cheeks glowed a bright red as did the imaginary fire in his heart. He even felt the so-called ‘butterflies’ going crazy inside his stomach.

Murdoc left straight after that, which in all left the bluenette stunned from his tone. God, Stuart loved that. He was truly and utterly in love with how Murdoc was behaving right about now. It was teasing, powerful and yet gentle all at the same time. He couldn’t wait for his return! He even forgot about his pills for a second...

Murdoc went straight ahead to talk to that nurse. She told him that he should have at maximum six pills a day. Three morning, three night, nothing more than that. But she said that when Stuart was dealing good with this amount he should change his pills to placebo, Stuart would have the illusion of taking them, and soon he would be free from addiction. That was really clever for her to tell him.

He went back with his three pills and a glass of water. "From now on, I'm the one to give you your pills Stuart." He said in a serious tone. "You'll have to trust me for that... and.." He thought for a sec "If you’re not feeling well... I can help you with that." Murdoc was tempted to prove him he didn’t need any chemistry to be happy.

As soon as Murdoc came walking back into the room, 2D sat up straight on his bed and smiled excitedly. He was so taken by Murdoc’s dominant vibe.

Once the bassist stated how he’d be in control of giving 2D his pills, the singer nodded his head quickly. “That’s fine Muds...” he said, blushing lightly.


	10. Make up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cuz sex is never enough.

Murdoc thought for a second. "Well the nurse told me you needed a shower ... and you didn’t take any since you arrived here... would this make you feel better, D?" Stuart was really behaving well. He didn’t mean anything sexual but.. A shower would give him a little more touch than laying in a bed. "She told me I needed to help you with that...". He blatantly lied. But the day was sunny and inviting... he was just wearing that transparent cloth...

Stuart giggled lightly, not being able to control his nervous laughter. He instantly felt like a dream. “A shower sounds nice...” 2D agreed, nodding. “I’d feel a lot fresher Muds. You’d be kind enough to help me, yeh?”

"Wouldn’t be kindness, Bluebird. I need to help you." He stood up and helped the singer do the same. He needed to be careful with his tubes. "You smell like hospital." He chuckled entering the room. "Strip." he told him as an order, Stuart would do to better than him, he knew where it was hurting and where were the tubes.

Being ordered to strip was exciting. 2D quickly nodded and began to take off his hospital clothing and gown. He ensured not to accidentally catch onto his tubes, because otherwise that’d be a real pain.

Once he was fully nude, the singer rubbed his upper arm anxiously. He was always self-conscious about his body, mainly because he was so damn skinny! Most would think he was anorexic, if that.

"There’s nothing there I haven't already seeing or touched, luv." Murdoc smiled turning the shower on. He put a hand to see the water's temperature till he found a good one. "C'mon mate.." he invited him.

With that, Stuart stood towards the shower and placed his hands onto Murdoc’s shoulders for support as he stepped inside. The temperature of the water was so soothing as it pattered against the skin of his back. The singer smiled warmly, feeling comforted at last.

Murdoc smiled back "Is that good, Stu?" He grabbed the shampoo and put a little amount on his hand... he began rubbing his scalp gently washing him and trying his best not to get wet. "I don’t mind taking care of you y'know? I already taken when you were in coma...." he washed his hair while talking. “You’re just a little more helpful and talkative now…”

The singer blushed as Murdoc washed his hair, talking to him. He felt comforted by his hands and the way they tenderly caressed his scalp. “Muds,” 2D spoke up, closing his eyes tightly for a moment to avoid getting soap into his eyes. “Why is my hair blue?” He asked, wondering as he noticed his blue locks whilst the water soaked it.

"Oh so you found out their not dyed huh?" He joked. "You told me once you fell from a tree when you were 11. After that your hair fell and began to grow this azure blue... for no reason " he caressed his face and poked his nose "So its naturally blue... it was originally brown" he explained.. "And you have a damn hard head, Stu... always falling and never getting permanent damages..."

“Naturally blue?” The singer frowned, confused. He then chuckled lightly and shook his head. “That’s silly mate. Isn’t it? Or-“ he stopped, thinking for a moment. “Or is it?” He finished, not really sure what was normal and what was not anymore. Everything that seemed to happen in his life was bizarre.

"Well look at the roots of it anytime... it grows blue.." he shrugged grabbing the soap and washing his whole body... feeling how weak and skinny his singer was. He couldn't help but admire him... he missed his body too. "I wasn’t there when you were 11 mate... so your mother should have told you this..." he giggled and bit his lip. Stuart was fucking gorgeous.

Stuart felt his body practically going back and forth as Murdoc washed him. He was very weak indeed, as a paper sheet so it was easy for Murdoc to move him around as he pleased.

“You’re really strong Mu’doc,” Stuart noticed how flimsy he was, making it seem like the bassist was much stronger — he was strong for sure, but he seemed a lot stronger to the singer.

Murdoc flushed... "I Guess I am..." he softened his movements to make it more pleasurable to Stuart. He squeezed his arm, chest, neck, thighs... just enjoying touching him all soapy and slippery.. he couldn't help but feel a little tent forming in his pants. But he tried his best to hide it from the singer.

Therefore, he without warning grabbed his cock to wash it... as it was something normal like any other part of his body. He used the soap to wash his lenth.

Feeling Murdoc’s hands all over his body made Stuart bite his bottom lip lustfully. He was already hardening before the bassist grabbed ahold of his member, but now he was hard for sure.

He blushed, feeling embarrassed to grow such an erection just by being washed... or groped more like. “M’sorry Muds...” the singer apologized, watching how Murdoc used the soap to wash his length. It just seemed to grow harder and harder into his palm and he couldn’t stop it. Little did he know that Murdoc was growing a tent too.

"Don’t be..." he couldn't help seeing him getting hard. It was supposed to be only a shower. But he wouldn’t let Stuart without assistance. He pulled back out the shower and stripped quickly entering the shower with him.. "I knew this could happen, D..." he pressed him against the cold wall of the shower and squeezed both erections together as he was really hard. He couldn't believe they were about to fuck in a hospital!

He kissed him hard pulling his hair. He wanted him so bad "Tell me if it hurts .." he told him lustfully, but aware that he was still weak and sick.

The singer raised his thick brows once Murdoc quickly stripped and entered the shower with him. He gasped lightly as his back hit the cold wall, sending chills down his spine.

“Muds... What are you-“ he was about to ask, but Murdoc had already clashed his lips with his. 2D loved it, being ordered around and controlled like that. He enjoyed how Murdoc could be so sweet, kind and caring to him and then change into this hot, dominant and lustful man.

Stuart broke the kiss, pulling away to breathe as Murdoc tugged on his hair. Fuck, it felt so good. “I like it when it hurts Muds...” the singer told him honestly, grinning slightly as he spoke.

"I know you do..." Murdoc kissed his neck roughly biting and leaving marks there. That was the first time they shagged since Stuart cheated on him. He wanted to make him pay for his cheating. He wanted so bad to hurt him... That only turned him a bit more.

"Listen, we need to be quick okay...? We're in a sodding hospital and no one wants to hear you screaming, got it?" he licked his neck. "Fuck Stuart, even sick you make me this hard." He pulled his hand pressing it against his cock. He was so horny that in a movement he lifted Stuart’s legs in the air pressing him even harder against the wall. "I want you so bad, love..." he wasn’t thinking properly spreading his ass and squeezing it.

Stuart tilted his head back in pleasure as Murdoc attacked his neck with bites and kisses. He couldn’t even bare to keep his eyes open as all of his muscles seemed to relax.

But, Murdoc pulled away and stated how they needed to be quick. He was right. They were in a hospital, after-all. But that made it feel all the more naughtier. To Murdoc’s ‘got it?’ Stuart, quickly nodded his head and excitedly smiled — fucking hell, he loved this tone Murdoc was using.

“You’re so hard Muds...” 2D informed him as the bassist grabbed his hand and placed it on his cock. He was, _really_ hard... it only made the singer even harder too. His member started to ache, even.

Within a blink of an eye, Stuart was pushed against the wall even harder with his legs up. Murdoc was groping his rear, which felt so good, and Stuart wrapped his legs around the bass player’s waist as he felt him up.

“You wanna fuck me, Muds?” 2D asked, teasingly. He bit down on his bottom lips roughly, wanting Murdoc just as much as he wanted him. God, this was crazy. Crazy stupid. Crazy in love. All of it was madness, and 2D fucking loved it.

"Shhs" Murdoc pressed a hand on his mouth to shut him up. "I _will_ fuck you, Stuart." he teased rubbing his cock against his hole... "But you can't scream or I'll punish you, understand?" His hand was trembling to slap him, in the arse, face... anywhere. Deep inside he felt angry still. "I really should teach you not to fool me anymore you whore..." he clenched his teeth and wrapped his hand around his neck, ready to squeeze it... "But I won’t.. I'll just fuck you till you see starts.." he pressed his cock against his entrance, forcing a little. "Than I'll make you cum so hard... If you be good and don’t scream...." he smiled devilishly.

2D was feeling very overwhelmed with lust. He couldn’t even control himself anymore. He wanted to tear away from the bassist’s grip and just attack the man with a wet snog. But, he knew he’d be punished for doing so. He had to behave and be good.

 

The singer nodded his head as Murdoc told him that he wasn’t allowed to scream; he had to be remain quiet. He breathed heavily into the bassist’s hand as he waited somewhat impatiently for Murdoc’s cock to fill him. But that didn’t happen any time soon — the Satanist was teasing him by only pushing in his tip.

Once Murdoc’s hand wrapped around Stuart’s thin neck, the bluenette tilted his head up slightly to give him the spAce to. He wasn’t pushing his hand away or afraid to be choked. In-fact, it was like 2D was encouraging him to do so. He smirked gently, keeping his eyes locked with Murdoc’s as the bass player spoke.

“I’ll be good” Stuart agreed, understanding that to do so, he had to be quiet. “You don’t have to worry about your whore making a sound,” he added. Though, Murdoc would have probably known he was lying since 2D couldn’t go through sex without moaning like the slut he is.

Murdoc smirked. "Good." he pressed his cock into his hole growling into his ear. Now that hand was choking him. If he made a loud sound would get a rough slap. Once inside him his knees almost gave in. "Sweet Satan Stu…. You’re still tight... so tight for me..." he loosened his hand looking at him in the eyes. "I missed you so fucking much... I'll rip you in the middle, babe." he began thrusting without mercy. Biting him as hard as he could, squeezing his ass, digging his nails inside his flesh. Murdoc let his inner demon run free... he missed like hell, sex. A good sex with the man he loved.

His neck was marked by his hand but Murdoc didn’t even care. "I'm the only one fucking allowed to mark you, you slut..." he punched the wall behind his face. He opened his eyes and smirked again.

Stuart’s legs trembled as soon as Murdoc shoved in and began thrusting. He whimpered quietly, trying to hold back any other sounds that could possibly escape his lips. He shut his eyes tight, feeling Murdoc’s cock filling him up nicely. Even 2D’s walls were fitting around him perfectly, like they were meant to be.

He loved how rough Murdoc was being. He could feel the man’s claws digging into his skin as he groped his arse and growled into his ear. Fuck, that felt so damn good. It was the best feeling he’d ever felt before! In all the times they’ve ever had sex, Stuart knew he’d never forget this one even if his memory got wiped again.

“Mmm,” he moaned softly as Murdoc called him a slut and cussed in his sentence. Just telling him that he was the only one to mark him with such a harsh tone of voice made Stuart’s cock twitch. He was pushing towards the edge already. “Yes Murdoc,” 2D quickly nodded, afraid of what would happen if he disagreed. But being afraid was fucking _magica_ l. It was a turn on for him — the dominance Murdoc had over him was bloody brilliant.

Murdoc kept running chasing his orgasm. But didn’t forget about Stuart. He pressed him a little harder against the wall and with a free hand he squeezed him not very gently. began stroking him in a slow torturous pAce.

"I'll say this just once... You're... mine..." He said hoarsely into his ear. And bit his earlobe. Murdoc could feel he was close... "You'll only come when I allow you to... Dont... disobey..." he wanted to slap his face so bad... he looked so afraid it was really a turn on for the bassist. To avoid these thoughts he shoved his tongue once again into his mouth kissing him wet and needy. Murdoc wanted to show that after all he was loved...

That was it for Stuart. He couldn’t keep it in any longer. As soon as Murdoc began stroking him, the singer let out a not-so-quiet groan. Even when Murdoc had shoved his tongue into his mouth, 2D couldn’t stop himself. He tried his best to kiss the bass player back, but he mostly just moaned into his mouth.

 

“Aww, fuck,” 2D wailed against the man’s lips, quickly resuming to kiss him roughly. He was close to his climax already, and Murdoc was just making it easier and easier to cum. But he wasn’t allowed. Not until he said so.

Murdoc couldn't help but slap him across his face. "I said quiet, whore." he licked his teeth with the sensation that let his hand warm. Before Stuart could think of answering, he kissed him again, thrusting as hard as he could and stroking him in a furious pAce. He was _really_ angry without Stuart behaving, so he would make things difficult to him.

What if someone heard him and came inside? The door wasn’t locked and Stuart probably not thinking about that at all. He slapped his arse as a second punishment, after stroking him.. feeling his orgasm close.

The slap left Stuart’s cheek feeling hot and tingly. It stung, for sure. Probably left a red handprint there too. But damn, the singer was enjoying every second of it. He loved to be dominated like that, and for Murdoc to be doing such a thing was all he could ask for.

Before 2D could react to the slap, Murdoc had crashed his lips back with his. God, he was so good. So good at sex. So good at treating Stuart like the whore he was.

Not so long after, the singer broke the kiss and bit his bottom lip as Murdoc slapped his arse. His body jolted lightly as he did, and the bluenette whimpered once again. But, straight after letting out another noise, 2D quickly stated: “M’gonna cum. M’gonna- Oh God... I’m so- I’m so soddin’ close!” Stuart wasn’t even thinking about the door being locked or if anyone would come in and catch them. He didn’t even care. He was so sucked into this intense moment that nothing else around them mattered.

Murdoc couldn’t help but smile seeing him that desperate... When he told him he would cum he squeezed his hand again around his neck. He came, hard and hot inside him, but that hand didn’t leave his neck "I want to see you come... choked." he kissed him once again after cumming inside his singer. Of course Murdoc wouldn’t cut his air forever, when he notice Stuart was coming he would loosen that hand, otherwise he could pass out or something from lack of oxygen. He kept his cock buried inside him, cum oozing from Stuart as he didn’t came in a long time so its amount was a little more than usual.

That was another punishment for yelling. Softer, as his face was already sore.

The singer inhaled sharply as Murdoc’s hand met his neck once again. He couldn’t say he didn’t love it, though. Because in-fact, he absolutely adored it.

However, Stuart’s airways being cut off like that made him choke on his non-existent breath. He needed to breathe, but he needed to cum. He chose the second option. Being choked out like that made it all the more harder to hold back.

Soon after feeling Murdoc’s warm cum filling him up, 2D reaches his climax and came hard, even having it squirt up on himself. He hadn’t came in a long time either — the last shag he had was with Ace, but he couldn’t remember that.

Murdoc loosened that hand on his neck, letting him breathe, feeling him cum. God that was fucking amazing. He pressed his forehead against his chest, feeling exhausted... he put his long legs back on the floor. He panted and stood there smirking... proud of what he had done. He hoped Stuart was happy with this ... new version of him.

Stuart could barely stand right on his feet. His legs were trembling and weak. His balance was crooked and he could hardly breathe properly due to how hard he came plus the choking. He panted heavily because of this and quickly reached out to the wall and held himself steady. He rested his head back, keeping his eyes shut as he caught his breath back. God, that was some fuck. That was amazing. Mind-blowing, even!

“Mu’doc...” the singer spoke breathlessly, finally lifting his head and setting his gaze upon the bass player. “Thank you,” he said, getting a little emotional. “Thank you for that...”

2D was truly pleased with the way Murdoc fucked him. He wanted that every time they shagged from now on. This new version of him got the bluenette feeling some type of way.

"You don't need to thank me..." He smiled. "I love you. I'd do anything for you." Murdoc got emotional too. So he nuzzled his nose against the singer's... "I just wanna make you pleased, in sex and in life.." he admitted.

"I'm still scared you'd try to cheat on me... That's why I wanna learn how to treat you the way.. the right way... So I can make you stay... And chose me above all people that could come in your life." He confessed, feeling small and stupid. He was so in love he couldn’t help.

Stuart smiled lightly hearing his words. Even though his words were relating to something negative and his self-consciousness, the singer still felt blessed to have Murdoc so deeply in love with him like that.

Without saying anything, 2D leaned in close and kissed Murdoc’s lips very tenderly. He cupped his chin to tilt his head up too, and then caressed his cheek with the same hand once connecting their lips. He pulled away after a few warm seconds, still smiling softly at him.

“You don’t need to worry,” he spoke gently, giving Murdoc another kiss but on the cheek this time. “I won’t cheat on you.”

"Thank you, Bluebird." He smiled tenderly turning the shower off and grabbing towels for both of them. He was really angry and possessed when he fucked him... who knows some time they could just make love? When he was with a better humour.


	11. Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deal is made.

Evangelist is Boogieman's counterpart.

“She has scaled, orange skin, with a fishbowl head. She wears white shoes and white socks, with water spritzing out, as well as a white shirt and blue jeans. She has two of the One-Eyed Octopuses on her arms, and several Superfast Jellyfish in the fishbowl she has for a head. Inside the fishbowl she also has four eyes, as well as teeth.”

It can even be defined as the Boogieman avenger.

 

That way she's the opposite of all the evil that's wrapped under Boogieman's dark black swirling cloak. But as a similar entity, it can also make deals, a little less unfair or costly as those of its antonym. Let's say they could be less sacrificial than his.

Thinking about it, days after Stuart didn’t get any better, but only worse, descending downhill without a bridle, Murdoc in a thoughtless move covered in despair, decided to resort to _it_.

One night when 2D was hallucinating in fever and it was raining heavily, Murdoc decided it was time. He thought about his plan very well, taking almost a week to get ready ... He had to be fast, Stuart didn’t have much time left. Even when he agreed not to take more pills and excess and quit drugs… His health didn’t come back at all…

 He asked Noodle to take care of him while he was going to do some things out... The younger girl didn’t understand, but something told her not to question, she could see in his face he wasn’t joking. so she silently took care of her brother. He left in a rush to a crossroad. Nobody there knew about his idea. Murdoc decided to sacrifice himself alone that day, under a storm.

Since Stuart was someone intrinsically good by nature, it would not be too difficult to summon Evangelist. If the reverse were happening, it would be a bit more complicated ... He read and reread chapters, gathered all he could of information and he succeeded. He needed to talk to it and ask for help ... It was his last chance since he had paid his debt to Boogieman and he was gone forever. It would be too reckless to call him again.

A flash flooded the place. Soon the creature appeared, with its unusual appearance but little frightening. His presence was not scary and heavy as its opposite, it was infinitely lighter, but very powerful. Murdoc swallowed hard.

"Who dares disturbing me?" Always the same talk of supernatural entity. Could not they say "Hi, how are you?" for once?

"Me. Murdoc Niccals, " he said without hesitation. "I need a favor, a deal, anything ... _I'm desperate._ " He took a deep breath, imagining that if he didn’t do that right now, Stuart couldn’t even make it through the night. The worst he could get was a ‘no’. He was holding a 2D’s T-shirt, if _Evangelist_ needed anything. He went outta home ready, more prepared than when he got into _Boogieman_ , after all, now the request _wasn’t for himself_.

"You ... the one who made deals with my enemy." It narrowed its eyes as it had no eyebrows on that fishbowl head.

"Yes ... I did it for my own benefit, out of selfishness and greed." He admitted already. "Now I want to do it for somebody else." He stepped forward the lightened creature. A lightning lit the sky.

"I see ... why and who would it be?" Murdoc closed his eyes, concentrating on thinking only in 2D. How much he wanted to see him well. In his smile and his voice. He could hardly see or hear Stuart in a while now.

" _My singer_." His voice was already breaking. "He ... they did something to him ... He lost his memory, but he's also very sick and very weak ... I don’t know if it was a curse, a spell ... I ... I _need him back_.” His tone was besides frightened, sincere. He gave the entity his shirt, not even waiting for it to catch. "He's dying, and he doesn’t remember anything about his life. I offer anything in return for him. "By this time Murdoc could no longer tell if what wet his face were tears or rain.

The creature grabbed the T-shirt, closing his eyes. The octopus on his shoulders stared at the bass player. "I see that the bonds you share are much stronger than ‘your singer’." Murdoc nodded, now crying freely, he knew he couldn’t lie to it. "We can make a deal." He looked at _Evangelist_ , not knowing if he was happy or sad. "But only because his soul is pure, and this is an act of extreme courage and empathy on your part." It assumed, knowing that despite everything bad inside the Satanist's heart, there were sincere feelings and that he really was willing to trade anything for Stuart.

"I can restore his health and his memory. But you're going to have to give up yours." Murdoc looked confused even though he understood. "I'll try to be fair in the deal. You will lose 30 years of your memory. This is equal to forgetting everything that happened until you met Stuart Pot. He will forget everything until he was 10 years old. " Really doing the math Murdoc met him when he was 31 and Stuart was forty now. "And your health will also cease to be the current one, which is no longer very good ... Which means that whatever you do against it will cut off your years of life, and of course, your moments shared with your beloved singer."

Murdoc thought for a moment. He was extremely stingy and selfish, even more when it came to his life, always was. Surely 2D wouldn’t have so much time with him the way he was weak and no longer responding to anything ... Everyone had tried everything ... But what El Mierda did was too powerful.

He preferred his life to be shortened if he could let Stuart live his, happy and remembering everything. He was going to make him happy every day he could. The singer didn’t need to know that he had sacrificed himself, only Murdoc would know the truth. It would also be a good thing to forget his childhood ... That entity was fairer and was offering up something better than he could ask for. It was being very merciful to someone that didn’t even deserve.

Maybe, just maybe, with this act Murdoc could redeem himself for everything bad he had done with the singer before. Maybe cleaned up some of the dirt and malice he did. A counterpart of your old self.

He smiled. "I'll take it, just bring my Stuart back. _Please_."

Although it had no lips Murdoc could swear that the creature was smiling. "Murdoc Faust Niccals, you have finally discovered the true meaning of loving someone." It disappeared into another glare, carrying the singer's Tee ... Murdoc blinked a few times and ran home as if his life depended on it. Nothing else mattered ... If 2D was okay.

There he went straight to his room, soak wet but who cares? He paused at the door, afraid of what he could see. He stepped in at a slower pAce than he had come. Noodle stared at him with tears in her eyes ... What wasn’t common, she _never_ cries.

"It's a miracle." She smirked. He was holding his brother's hand. Murdoc approached, afraid. Stuart's eyes were still closed.

"What happened while I left ...?" He swallowed, looking at the Japanese woman.

"He got really bad ... The worst I've ever seen these days. He began to cry and whine from pain ... I had nothing I could give ... I didn’t know what to do anymore, he begged to see you ... But you weren’t here. "She looked at Murdoc who felt his heart breaking having abandoned 2D at the time that needed most. He stared at her with his best look of "Forgive me for leaving you alone here with him alone."

"But now that you have arrived, it seems he has settled down ... He is no longer sweating or burning with fever ... He stopped screaming and trembling ..." She looked at Stuart again. "I ... I thought he had ..." And he bowed his head. "That was the last time ... And you weren’t even here to say goodbye ..." Murdoc laid a wet hand on her shoulder. She stared at him. He had a smile as if he knew more than she did.

"Murdoc, what did you do?" She blinked and wiped her tears quickly with her hands.

" _A sacrifice_." That's all he said. Before Noodle could respond, the singer opened his eyes, confused. They both leaned closer.

"Toochi ... are you okay ..?" Noodle pressed his hand even more tightly. Murdoc looked at him expectantly, the better he actually looked, the rosier, the less pale ... More _alive_.

"Sure, yes, Noods, just my head is hurting a little ... I think I need my pills ..." He put his hand on his head and smiled. God, how Murdoc missed that smile. "Wow, what are those faces folks, it look like you’ve seen a ghost ..." Noodle smiled still with tears in his eyes. Murdoc laughed, barely awake, and 2D was already joking. It sounded like a dream, of which he didn’t want to wake up.

"Stu ..." Murdoc stepped closer and placed a cold hand on his cheek. "Answer me one thing, will ya...?"

"Of course Muds ... People what was going on here ... Noods why are you crying? And Muds you're soaked ... "He put his hand over the Satanist's. Noodle also didn’t understand, but seeing her brother better was something wonderful after the despair she felt.

"How did we meet?" Murdoc bit his lower lip in anticipation.

"What an idiot question Muds, you ran me over with your car twenty years ago and ..." Their eyes widened. They looked at each other. "But seriously, why wouldn’t I know that?" Stuart was still very confused.

"I got Noods ..." Murdoc looked at the guitarist. "I got his memory back ..." She smiled, hugging the singer tightly, seeing that he wasn’t sick either. Murdoc didn’t do the same because he was too wet for it plus he knew he had to take care of himself or he would get sick, after all his health had been taken away in the agreement.

Even so, he was happy.

 

The time has passed. They discovered that the part in which Stuart was under the influence of El Mierda didn’t return to his head, continued as unconnected blots, so Murdoc should tell him everything that happened ... In addition he had to explain about him having lost totally his memory and then reasserted it. He chose not to mention the part of his health, the Satanist knew that 2D would certainly take triple care of him, and would completely forget about his own. Murdoc hated feeling incapable of taking care of his own self, much less when the problem was him who created it himself.

So tours came back on the road, interviews and Gorillaz going forward in its career. Of course, Ace was going to de dumped shortly after the contract ended, and Murdoc would take over as the titular bassist. Yet one aspect of their relationship that unfortunately involved Ace was for a long time pounding in the head of the Satanist while Stuart returned to act normally with his memory reconquered and of course, keeping a safe distance from Ace.

Though Stuart's memory came back to him, along with all his feelings towards his bassist, Murdoc still didn’t feel like being more intimate with him. After that affair in the hospital’s bathroom of course, that he couldn’t hold himself… He missed him too much and couldn’t tell him no… Again.

 2D didn’t remember cheating on him ... And sometimes when they three were close is was an uncomfortable situation, Murdoc and Ace knew the truth but Stuart had no idea at all. The good news were that after much talk the Satanist was sure that 2D was completely outta  himself when he went after another bloke and that his normal self would never do anything like that. He loved Murdoc with all his heart and was loyal to him only.

In the end, it wasn’t really Stuart who cheated on him. It was the personality he assumed when possessed that did it, only to weaken Murdoc. This made things more palatable to Murdoc, yet the lack of intimacy was becoming really unsustainable on both sides. An afternoon that no one was in the house, the older male decided it was time to do something about it.

Stuart was sitting with his keyboard in his lap, full of ideas for a new album. He was really excited and wanted Murdoc to help him with some lyrics and arrangements... He loved to write together with the Satanist, another of the things that would be lost along with his memory. He really wanted the next album had many of Murdoc’s ideas, to redeem that the other there wasn’t any at all as he was in jail. Murdoc had taken a shower and decided it was time to talk.

"Stu ..." He left the bathroom still drying his hair. "Are you busy?"

The singer soon put everything aside making room for him to sit on the bed. "Not at all, Muds." He grinned, lying, of course he was busy. Murdoc sat down.

"I wanted to talk to you." His tone was a little more serious than usual, which made Stuart stop smiling. The eldest took his hand. "You know I already explained to you what happened to your memory and such, huh ...?" He nodded. "The problem is that not all of it has returned ..." Stuart looked at him confused.

"The time you were under influence for some reason really was deleted from your HD. And ... you did some things at that time ... "He looked sad.

"So we just need to find this HD thing and I'll remember Muds ..." He was naive that much. Murdoc smiled.

"There's no way to do this, D ... I just want to tell you what happened and ask some questions ... Okay?" He nodded again.

"Did I do something wrong, Muds ...?" He asked really worried.

"Did. You cheated on me. "At last the truth came out. Stuart's eyes widened.

"Why did I do this ...?" He looked bitterly regretful.

"I don’t know either .... But it's past and I know it wasn’t really you..." Murdoc softened. He really didn’t need to relive bad times of the past. “When I went out to help Noodle, I decided to forgive you."

"Damn I'm sorry I ..." Murdoc put a finger over his quivering lips.

"I know you do, Stu ... That's not the point here ... I don’t want you to feel bad about it." He was quiet listening. "When I went to the hospital to see you later ... Well Ace had already lied to you ... For some reason you decided to listen to me not him ... But that I already told you, right?" He nodded. "What I didn’t say was what he told you about you when you left the room to get help ..."

"What did Ace tell you about me?" 2D looked at him as Murdoc stroked his hair. The singer seemed a bit nervous and at the same time intrigued to know. He was afraid of everything bad he could have done, after all he didn’t remember. It must have been very uncomfortable for Murdoc to talk about it all, but it was something that needed to be done.

Murdoc sighed. "He told me that you were only good for two things, to be used and to sing." He stared at him. "And then he gave me a punch in the face." He put his hand over his face, remembering the blow. "Before that, he told me that you like being ordered, get smacked and being dominated. Especially in bed ... he said that you were like a pet." No matter how he tried, Murdoc would never forget those words. "Well, I don’t see things like that." The Satanist wanted to talk about it with his singer since it happened.

"To be used?" 2D questioned, furrowing his thick eyebrows. "What does it mean to be used?" He didn’t get it right, as was to be expected.

When Murdoc mentioned domination in bed, it was true. Stuart liked to be controlled by whoever was with him. Murdoc has since decided to treat him better and be less abusive ... both in intimate moments and in life. If Ace was telling the truth about it, then was it really only good to sing and be used?

"He used you when you betrayed me." Murdoc said in a breath. "He did it just to hurt me and make me angry, because to him you're useless and easy." He closed his eyes, feeling the weight of those words. "I would have broken his nose for saying that about you ... but it would be stupid in the situation we were in, so I let him hit me instead." Another sigh. "I think you went after him when you felt lonely because he treated you like that ... Not just in bed. But in life. And I don’t think you like being mistreated all the time, do you? "He asked all honestly. Ace had really treated him badly and brutally on the day of the hospital, was that what he really wanted?

Stuart gradually calmed down and took a deep breath trying to assimilate everything Murdoc had said. "No," he answered the question. "Not all the time ..." 2D liked being treated less fondly at certain times, but not constantly. Murdoc was not his master, he was her boyfriend.

"That's what I thought." He smiled. "Look ... when you were possessed or I do not know what, in another situation you provoked me to hit you ... you begged and even punched me in the face saying that the next blow was my turn, as in old times ... "He sighed, remembering those white eyes. "I did not lay a finger on you ... because I knew it was not you, it was not the right ... but ..." He shifted his position "I kept questioning you. You really want me to be more rude , raise my voice and beat you .. In all situations, as it was formerly ...? " he had a confused face. "Because you said that you would look for Ace for this ... because I was too weak to give you what you wanted ... And ... I could not stop thinking about it ... If I'm not enough in this respect for you ... and I want to be. "

Murdoc finally had the courage to tell the truth. He did not want Stuart looking for anyone but him, even if he had to change "I like to treat you well Stu, that our coexistence is peAceful ... for all the years I've been an asshole and abusive with you ... but I I can go back to being ... I mean ... if you really like it. " What he really wanted to know was who Stuart really was, and who El Shit had become.

"I-did I do that?" 2D asked, looking worriedly at the bassist. "Did I punch you? I begged you to hit me back? "The singer was a little confused and embarrassed. He was not sure what to say. He had more excuses to ask than he imagined ... And you can really see that Murdoc had changed for the better, letting it all go away.

Stuart was a fifty-fifty guy, depending on the mood and situation. "Murdoc ... I like it when you're hard on me in certain situations, not all the time." He clarified, "When Ace started treating me badly in the hospital, I did not like it, he was even asking me if I really I was dating him because it did not make sense for me to feel so scared and to be with him ... And he'd send me on ... It's not supposed to be that good ... "He smiled.

"I know we had problems, that our friendship was never easy ... But I lost the fear of you the moment I discovered that I felt the same. And you've moved from there ... So do not worry, I'm not going after anyone and you're not doing anything wrong. "He kissed her cheek. "It's not because he touched me once I want it to happen again, in fact I do not even remember it ..." He grimAced. "I like the way you treat me and ... I choose to be with you. It was probably not me saying and doing that lot of things myself, I'm sorry again. "

Murdoc smiled back "No matter how hard you tried to make me angry ... Showing the marks on your neck and teasing me ... Then I could hit you. "I just wanted to make that clear ... Why do I still want to spend a lot of time at your side ..." He swallowed, knowing he might not have had that much time, but he smiled, "Talk to me when I'm not enough, I said I love hearing your voice, right?" Stuart nodded.

Murdoc came a little closer, enough to feel the younger's breathing.

"Thank you for listening to me, Bluebird." I knew these insecurities came from the situations they lived in. But I still trusted Stuart a lot. She had exchanged a lot for him.

"Oh that Muds, I also love to hear your voice ..." He said turning red and smiling. Murdoc leaned his forehead on the singer's. "I missed you ..." The bassist whispered.

"Now I understand why you could not get close to me ..." He ran his nose over the older, funny-looking man. "Do you forgive me ...?" Stuart asked softly.

"For everything." Murdoc smiled. "But only if you promise to be mine alone ..." He closed his eyes.

"I promise."


End file.
